


Little Brat

by life_is_righteous



Series: House of Durin [6]
Category: The Hobbit
Genre: F/M, Frerin Lives, Gen, Reader is a durin, Sister!Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-03-16 20:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 41,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13644294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_is_righteous/pseuds/life_is_righteous
Summary: You are the oldest of the Durins and you live your life happily until the day Smaug attacks. That is when you lost the trust of your little brother, Thorin.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Summary: A prologue depicting your life with Thorin, Frerin, and Dis before it all went to shit.

**TA 2746**  
“Y/n. Met your little brother, Thorin,” your father says, lifting you onto the bed with your mother. Your crawl over to your mother and look at the little baby cradled in her arms.

“I will always protect you Rin. No matter what,” you say, looking down at the precious thing. That causes both of your parents to smile. They just knew, from that exact moment, that you two will always be there to protect each other no matter what.

**TA 2751**

“Rin! We’re going to have another sibling,” you tell your little brother excitedly. “Weally?” he asks, shifting in your lap. You were currently sitting on a chair outside of your mother’s bedroom, patiently waiting for your new sibling to arrive.

“Yes we are,” you say, pulling him closer. You loved your little brother to the moon and back and you couldn’t wait to have more of them.

“Is it a wittle boy or wittle girl?” he asks, leaning against your chest. “Amad is hoping it’ll be another little girl and so is adad, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a little boy,” you say confidently. You had a knack for these kinds of things.

“What would you name it?” he asks. “I think Frerin would be a nice name don’t you think?” you ask him and you feel him nod.

“Little brother frerin sounds nice,” he says as the door to the bedroom opens up to reveal your father.

“Come on little ones. Come and meet your little brother,” he says and you and Thorin look at each other before rushing into the room.

You walk closer to the bed, grabbing thorin before he can jump on the bed and jostle your mother. You place him down gently and he crawls over to your mother, smiling excitedly. The new baby had the typically durin look with the blue eyes and black hair.

“Well, children, what do you think we should name him?” your mother asks as you sit by her side. Your father soon joins you.

“Y/n likes Frerin and so do I,” Thorin exclaims. “Well Frerin, it is,” your father says and thus you had a little brother named Frerin.

**TA 2756**

“Amad! Rin stole my stole sword!” You cry out, running to your mother who was trying to get a five year old Frerin to go to bed.

“Did not!” Thorin calls out, running into the room after you. Your shouting causes Frerin to wake and start crying. Your mother sighs and picks up her youngest.

“You did so! You wanted to prove to Alliana that you could hold a sword! Addad gave it to me as a gift!” You exclaim making him pout.

“I just wanted to play with it, that’s all,” he says, looking at the ground with a pout. You sigh. “Well, come on then, Rin. Let me teach you how to hold it properly. Then maybe you’d actually impress her,” you say and he looks up at you excitedly, unshed tears sparkling in his eyes.

You smile and hold out your hand. He takes it and you lead him out of the room, forgetting your original reason for being there.

Derias smiles at her children and puts the now quiet Frerin down. You two will be inseparable until the day you die.

**TA 2760**

“Y/n. What do you think its going to be this time?” Thorin asks from his spot beside you on the floor. It was so weird because the last time you were like this had been at Frerin’s birth nearly ten years ago. Now, Thorin was almost your height and was currently 14.

“What do you mean this time?” Frerin asks from your other side. “Well, when you were born, Rin asked me what I thought you were going to be. Amad and Adad thought you were going to be a girl, but I knew you were going to be a boy,” you explain and that makes his face scrunch up.

“Does that mean my room was decorated in pink frilly stuff?” he asks, disgusted at the idea. You smile and decide to antagonize him.

“Yes it was. Amad had wonder full pink dresses all picked out for you. It was beautiful and she was quite disappointed that you turned out to be a boy,” you say and you immediately regret it as tears start forming in his eyes.

“Aw Frerin! I’m just messing with you. They love you no matter what sex you turned out to be. They never decorated until you were born, I promise,” you tell him, pulling him into a one armed hug and that earns a laugh from Thorin. You were too soft sometimes.

“Did they really?” Frerin asks, looking up at you with unshed tears. “Of course. Rin and I helped pick some stuff out too. Amad and Adad will always love us no matter what,” you say, smiling down at him.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Thorin adds after a few moments. “I think its going to be a girl,” you tell him. “We should name her Dis!” frerin exclaims, making you laugh. “That sounds too close to sis, Frerin. I think she might feel offended once she understands that.”

“I don’t care. I like Dis,” he argues and you laugh again. “Well, Dis it is.” And dis it had been

**TA 2769**

You smile as your father hands you a quiver and a bow. It was your coming of age day. The day you finally turned 33 and the day you finally got an actual weapon. Thrain had asked you what weapon you wanted and was surprised when you had said bow and arrow.

You see, dwarves were not archers. Well dwarrowdams were not warriors in the first place, but you. You were different. You often trained with your younger brothers and could beat them easily. You were a fair match for your father but you were not that skilled. He had seen you fight with a sword and not a bow and arrows and when he questioned you about it, you just replied by saying that it was something that you needed to work on since you knew how to handle axes, swords and hammers well.

You smile at your father and pull him into a hug. “Thank you adad,” you say. “I am proud of you my child. Very proud,” he says, giving you a squeeze before pulling back.

You look around and frown as you notice that Thorin is not there at the ceremony. All you see is Frerin and Dis standing by your mother.

“Where is Rin?” You ask.

"He said he had other important things to tend to,“ he replies and you nod, heart shattering slowly.

He had promised that he’d be there and yet he was the only one not present. The only one that mattered had been the only one that had not shown up.

You put on a fake smile as the crowd cheers. You were going to pretended to be happy even though you were the exact opposite.

**TA 2770**

You smile as Dis drags you around Dale. You had decided to take her with you on your current expedition to Dale. Your father never let her go alone and Frerin and Thorin were always too busy so here you were.

“Do you think Vili would like this dress?” Dis asks you as she holds up a very pretty royal blue dress in front of her. You were not a fan of dresses but that dress was pretty cute.

“Of course he will! Aren’t you a little too young to be thinking about boys though?” you ask as she twirls around. “Aren’t you a little too old to not be thinking about boys?” she asks and you laugh. “Point taken little Dis. Now, lets buy it before some other dwarf does,” you tell her, getting your pouch from out of your pocket.

After your purchase, you put the dress into your pack and continue walking around stopping at various booths. You stiffen as the air gets hotter. It was a nice day out, but it was never this hot.

You look around and no one seems bothered by the heat. You grab Dis’ hand. “Come on little one. It’s time for us to go back home,” you say and she nods, following you of the city. Right before you reach the gates, there is a strong wind. It sounds like a hurricane and suddenly, the whole town is screaming, “dragon!”

“Y/n?” Dis cries out, tears streaming down her face. You bend down and wipe the tears away.

“We’re going to be just fine, do you trust me?” you ask her. She nods. “Then we’re going to be just fine,” you say as you hear screaming. You look around. It was not wise to make your way to Erebor due to the fact that the dragon could kill on the way there so you had to stay in the city.

You pick Dis up and you hide in an alcove. She hugs you close and you rub her back as she starts sobbing. She should not have to go through this. Not at this age. You flinch as a black arrow drops next to you. You look to the tallest building there and you see Lord Girion at the dwarfish wind lance.

You look to your sister and pull her closer, closing your eyes and praying to the gods above to keep you safe from harm.

Ten minutes later you realize that the dragon is gone. The city is still on fire but the dragon is no longer soaring above. The could only mean one thing. You stand quickly and run to the entrance, trying and struggling to not jostle Dis as much.

You look towards Erebor and the gates are broken and there are dwarves streaming out of the city.

You make your way to join them and you see Thorin running out with your grandfather at his side. He pauses and looks up to the hill, waving at something. You turn to find him looking at the elvenking and there is a moment where you think he would help but that moment vanishes as soon as he turns around.

You huff. Elves. You put Dis down and hold her hand as you make your way to your grandfather. Dis goes running to your father as she sees him.

“Are you okay? Where’s amad?” You ask and he looks stricken with grief and you know that she’s still in there.

“No,” you cry out. You move to run back into Erebor but a hand around your waist stops you. “Let me go Thorin, amad is still in there!” You say, clawing at your brother to get to your mother.

“No! Y/n it’s not safe!” He calls out, tightening his grip. “No!” you say, breaking free once again. You avoid the hands that try to stop you and right when you reach the entrance, you are knocked out, the last thing on your mind being your mother and how you’ll never get to see her again.

When you wake up, you are by the lake surrounded by other dwarves, lying in Frerin’s lap. You shoot up causing Frerin to jump in surprise.

“Mahal y/n. Where’s the fire?” he asks earning a punch from another dwarf. “Too soon?” he asks, cheekily. “Too soon,” the dwarf responds and you look around. “Where is dis?” you ask.

“With father and Thorin,” Frerin states and you stand, looking for your father and Thorin. You spot them sitting together with your grandfather. You make your way over to them, pulling Frerin along with you.

“Why, Thorin?” you ask, angrily as you remember what you were doing before you were unceremoniously knocked out. “Why what?” he asks, looking up from his spot. “Why didn’t you let me go to amad. I could have saved her!” you exclaim and Frerin takes Dis from your father and leaves, knowing that this was not going to end well.

“No you couldn’t! You would have died with her!” Thorin exclaims, standing. He was already taller than you even though you were older. “I would rather have died with her than being stuck with you!” you shout back. “What is your problem? When we were growing up, we used to be as thick as thieves and you have never, EVER, called me Thorin and then last year, you started calling me by my actual name when I have done nothing wrong!” he exclaims.

“You left me, Thorin! You let me standing alone on my coming of age! You abandoned me on the one day I need you the most!” you exclaim, the frustration of the past year finally getting to you. You were heartbroken that day causing you to distance yourself from your best friend. You had, like he stated, stopped calling him Rin, a name that you’ve called him for 23 years, and started calling him Thorin and you didn’t think he’d notice but he did.

“Is that what this about? Are you serious? That was over a year ago!” he exclaims. “And yet only now you’ve brought it up. I was supposed to be first Thorin! Family is supposed to always be first!”

“And yet you were willing to leave behind five others for one!”

“Because she was the only one that cared about me! She and Dis! You, father, and Frerin have never cared about me-,”

“Enough!” a booming voice shouts and you turn to find your father standing as well.

“We have just lost our home. It is not the time to duke this out! We have more important matters on our hand and your arguing is bringing embarrassment to the royal family!” Thrain exclaims and the both of you look around to find that all the dwarves within the vicinity are staring at you. As soon as you make eye contact, they look away, embarrassed at being caught.

“Your father is right, my children,” Thror says, coming up to the three of you, “we must figure out what we are going to do.”

“Some dwarves are wanting to travel to the Iron Hills,” Thrain explains, crossing his arms. “No. We need to make a home for our people. I am sure cousin Nain will be more than welcoming but we are the people of Erebor. We deserve our own home,” Thorin states and it sounds like his decision is final.

“I will take whoever wants to go to the Iron Hills,” you start and they turn to look at you in shock. “Y/n-,”

“No. That decision is final. I will be leading those who want to go to the Iron Hills,” you state, making up your mind.

“If you leave, you will NEVER be welcomed back into this family,” Thorin growls out and you give him a leveled look.

“Than leave I shall,” you say bowing your head slightly and with that, you gather the dwarves that want to go to the Iron Hills and you leave your family behind. You don’t know it, but your leaving is what started Thorin’s trust issues. The fact that his sibling, the one person he always looked up to, walked away from him. He never forgave and he never forgot. 


	2. A Little Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the battle for Moria, you realize that a lot has changed and when Frerin tries to talk to you, you run only to be confronted at a certain hobbit hole 142 years later.

You let your hair loose and put your helmet on. You had been living peacefully with Nain for the past 29 years. He had welcomed you with open arms and even given you a room in the royal wing. He was confused as to why you were there and you explained what had happened and he accepted everyone in with open arms.

Now, Thror had asked for warriors to join him in reclaiming Moria and while you no longer spoke to your family, you still wanted to help. When brought up to Nain, he refused. You were apart of the royal family and you could not risk your life for this quest. That caused you to sneak into the armory and hide with the rest of the soldiers.

The journey to Moria was long, but worth it. The night before you had met the dwarves from Ered Luin. You had spotted your brothers, but avoided them or anyone from the blue mountains. You did not risk the chance of being recognized.  
You look up as a dwarf with a Mohawk sits next to you.

“Why are you wearing your armor lad?” he asks and you don’ want to answer him knowing that your voice would give you away. “He’s a mute. Has been since the day he was born,” another dwarf says and you thank Durin that Gilrin was a good friend of yours. He had been the first to welcome you and has been by your side since you got to the iron hills.

“Why the armor?” the Mohawk asks. “Trust issues. I’m Gilrin son of Jorin,” the other dwarf says, “and this is Fallan son of Galdon.”

“Dwalin son of fundin,” the dwarf says and you shake his proffered hand. It’s then that you realize exactly how much you’ve missed out on. This dwarf was your cousin and Balin’s little brother. As the two males continue their talking, you begin to wonder how much has changed.

Did Dis finally start courting Vili? Did Thorin and Frerin find a beautiful dwarrowdam to court? All these questions ran through your head as you try to get a good night’s rest before heading into Moria.

You were severely outnumbered. It was absolutely tragic. You tried to keep an eye on your little brothers, but you had lost Thorin in the fight. You bring your sword up, blocking one of the orcs and you can hear another one coming up behind you but you can’t do anything about it. You hear the one behind you stop with a squelching noise and you behead the one in front of you. You turn to find Dwalin, pulling out his ax.

“Thanks Dwalin,” you say and he looks momentarily stunned before picking up his fight. You see Frerin being attacked from the front and an orc sneaking up from behind him. You pull your bow out and notch an arrow. You knew it was going to give you away, but you did not care. You pull back and let it go soaring into the air, embedding itself into the orc. Frerin immediately turns around after killing his orc, ready to attack. You notice the frown on his face and he realizes that the orc is no long there. He bends down and plucks out the arrow from the orc and you take that as a cue to move away.

You stand by your cousin Fundin and you got his back well he had yours. The pair of you continue to fight back to back until a sudden roar pierces the air. You turn to find the pale orc holding a head and you know, by the crown gracing it, it is your grandfather.

“No!” You scream, trying to move forward to get to the pale orc. A hand stops you, “no y/n! You mustn’t. You must stay here. You will only get yourself killed and we do not need another royal to be lost,” Fundin states and you look at your cousin confused. “The arrows gave you away, lass and the beads. Now fight alongside me?” he asks and you nod.

The both of you continue fighting until you hear yet another scream. Its Azog facing off against Thorin and it looks like Thorin cut off his arm. Azog retreats slowly, screaming. And the orcs follows. You see Thorin leading a charge and that gives you renewed vigor. A few hours later, the battle is finally over. You take a seat next to Fundin on a large rock, tired and worn out. You rest your back against his, taking off your helmet. You no longer care if you’re spotted.

“Adad!” you hear a voice call out and you open your eyes to find Dwalin making his way towards you. He goes to kneel in front of his father with an older dwarf right behind him. “Y/n?” Balin asks as he spots you. You turn to look at him and man he’s gotten older. “Hello Balin,” you tell him tiredly.

“You know this lass?” Dwalin asks. “This is the princess. Thrain’s oldest,” Balin says kneeling by your side and taking your hands in his. “You’ve gotten older,” you say. “It has been 29 years since I saw you last so,” he shrugs and you smile.

“Where is Thorin and Frerin and my father?” you ask him. “Frerin and Thorin are looking for survivors. They’re both fine, your father however. It seems that he has disappeared,” Balin informs and that makes you sit up straighter. “What do you mean disappear?” you ask him. “We cannot find him and his body is nowhere to be found,” he tells you and you stand, putting your helmet back on to help with the search.

“Thorin,” Frerin says walking up to his brother. “What is it Frerin?” he asks, looking around. “Look at what I found,” Frerin says, holding up the arrow that he pulled out of the orc that was going to kill him.

Thorin stops and looks at the arrow and up at his brother confused. “It’s an arrow Frerin,” Thorin tells him, going back to looking for survivors. “A dwarvish arrow. What dwarf uses arrows?” Frerin asks excitedly.

Thorin sighs and looks at his brother. “There are many dwarfs that use arrows. That could belong to anyone,” Thorin says, trying not to sound hopeful. He missed you a lot, but he was still angry at the fact that you left your family behind.  
“But this is the arrow father gave to y/n on her name day,” Frerin argues and Thorin looks away and Frerin remembers that he wouldn’t know. “The Durin runes are engraved into the arrowhead,” Frerin says, showing him the arrowhead.

“If she was here or not does not matter. She left our family. She made her decision and she left,” Thorin says, anger bubbling up. Frerin sighs.

Ever since you left, Thorin had been more serious and grumpy than ever. He took his role as the prince more seriously and he no longer had time for his siblings and became less family oriented. Things went downhill from the minute you left. Dis cried for you every night for the first year and boy did he miss you.

Thorin walks away and Frerin looks around, trying to see if he can find you. Unknowingly, Thorin was doing the same thing but with the bodies on the ground. He sees Balin walking with another dwarf. Maybe he knows where y/n. He makes his way over to them and calls for Balin.

The dwarves turn and his question dies on his lips as he realizes that Balin was with you. Your eyes widen as you spot your brother and the idea of flight or fight goes through your head and you choose the former. You turn around and walk away quickly, trying to escape from your brother.

You hear Frerin calling your name, but you continue to ignore him, picking up your pace and throwing off your helmet. You did not want to meet him again not now. You spot a battle ram and you take it, wanting to get as far away from here as possible. As you disappear into the distance, Thorin’s hatred only increases.

TA 2941

You knock on the round green door in front of you. Thorin had sent word to the dwarven kingdoms around middle earth asking for help to reclaim Erebor and by Durin, you were going to help which is why you were standing in front of this hobbit hole.

The door opens to reveal a very flustered looking hobbit. “Y/n, at your service,” you say, bowing and he groans. “How many more of you are there?” he asks, letting you in. You shrug. “I might have seen three more dwarves behind me,” you say, taking off your cloak. He groans yet again.

You look for a coat hook and you place it there.

“I’m Bilbo Baggins,” he says, holding out his hand. You take it from him. “Nice to meet you,” you say as you hear other movement from the pantry. You look to find Dwalin and Balin. It has been so long. “Look what the cat dragged up,” you say, leaning on the entrance. They both turn around.

“Aye lass. It’s good to see you,” Balin says, coming up to you and headbutting you. “Thorin isn’t going to be too pleased,” Dwalin tells you. “You let me worry about my little brother,” you say. “You mean both of your brothers. Frerin was not too pleased watching you run away,” Balin says. That makes your cringe. You expected Thorin to be upset with you, but not Frerin. You should have though, after all you left them when they need you the most.

“How is Dis?” you ask. “She was married to Vili and had two sons. One named Fili and the other named Kili. Fili is in his 80s and Kili in his 70s,” Balin informs you and you look away guiltily. You had not seen your sister in 171 years and it’s bringing up memories., memories that you missed so much. You’re pretty sure you still have the dress that you bought back in Dale that fateful day.

“I-,” but you are interrupted by a knock on the door. You try to listen turn as Bilbo opens it the door. They’re probably the three dwarves you saw earlier. “Fili,” one says. “Frerin,” the other says and that makes your heart speed up a bit. “And Kili,” who you assume to be the last one says. “At your service,” they all say together. Of course he would come with his nephews. You sink further into the pantry. Balin gives you a strange look.

“Lass you cannot seriously be thinking of hiding?” he asks you as you hear the three other dwarves make their way into the hobbit hole.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to go through this now,” you say. Dwalin exchanges a look with his brother and suddenly you are shoved out into the hall. You glare at Dwalin and he shrugs looking at the food.

“Y/n?” you hear a voice ask and you turn to find just Frerin standing there, but there are hurried footsteps and he is soon joined by a blonde and brunette. “It can’t be Aunt y/n, can it uncle?” the blonde asks but Frerin ignores him just staring at you and that makes you squirm.

“Fili, Kili come on,” Dwalin says, grabbing the two brothers and dragging them into the room. “Bilbo is there a private place we could talk?” you ask the hobbit. He nods. “Just keep on going straight through this hall and there’s a spare room at the end.”

You follow his instructions with your brother following behind. You enter the room and take a seat. You look at Frerin and he doesn’t look too happy to see you. You just sit there awkwardly for a few minutes before you break the silence.

“You’re mad,” you states. “Oh I’m beyond mad. I am pissed,” he growls out pacing.

“It’s been 142 years-,”

“You ran away from me like a damn coward! You ran away from us because you are a coward!” he shouts, pointing his finger at you. “I left because of Thorin! You have no idea what he did to me. What he put me through!” you shout back also standing.

“You chose to let that get to you. You could’ve ignored it, but you let it get to you! You are weak and you sure as hell do not belong on this quest!”

“You think it’s just about that? You think I left because of that? He let amad die! I could’ve rescued her, but he stopped me from doing so and he let her die. You think that you know me, little brother you are sorely mistaken. The one person that kept this family together is the one person that he let die and that’s why I left. Look, you can hate me all you want, but I came her for one reason and one reason only: to take back the home that was stolen from us. If you and Thorin have a problem with that then you have to deal with it,” you tell him, exiting the room and not hearing Frerin’s whispered, “I could never hate you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You speak to your nephews for the very first time and you are confronted by Thorin. Sort of.

You make your way back to the dining area and you realize that there are more dwarves and Gandalf.

“Y/n. How lovely it is to see you again. It has been too long,” Gandalf says, smiling down at you. He visited the Iron Hills often and you had always seen him around. “Gandalf. The pleasure is all mine,” you tell him as the dwarves get settled. Frerin pushes past you and Gandalf watches him carefully.

“He does not seem too pleased,” he says, turning back to you. You shrug. “That is my doing,” you say and he nods. You go into the dining room and you make yourself a plate, moving to the kitchen to get a little space from the dwarves to think about things. Five minutes later, you are joined by, what you guess is, your nephews. They’re both carrying plates.

“Y/n. Why aren’t you with everyone else?” the blonde asks. “I’d rather not be glared at by my brother, thanks,” you reply studying them. The brunette got his mother hair with Vili’s eyes and the blonde’s got his fathers hair with his mothers eyes. The Durin eyes. The brunette looks like a perfect mixture between his two uncles and you laugh.

The blonde smiles slightly. “Whats so funny?” he asks. “Nothing. It’s just you look like both of your uncles,” you reply, pointing at the brunette. “Kili,” the brunette says, smiling. “Fili,” the blonde adds and you smile again.

“How is your mother? I miss her dearly,” you ask as the three of you dig in to the food. “It pains her to talk about you sometimes,” Fili says quietly and there goes your heart. Why’d he have to be so blunt? Definitely got that from Frerin.

“I gather there isn’t much to talk about though,” you say looking at them. “She talks about you a lot when she’s in the mood. She tells us that you were her favorite. That you used to take her with you everywhere,” Kili supplies. “Well yeah. She was the only one I could take a long. Frerin and Thorin were already old enough to tell me no so little Dis was the only one I had,” you tell them. “Little Dis?” Fili asks, confused. He had never heard his Uncles mutter those words.

“Well you see. I was I think 24 when your mother was born and your uncle Frerin was about 9 and we were waiting for your mother to be born and we were coming up with names. Frerin threw out the name Dis and I was skeptical at first because it sounded like sis, but he was very adamant and thus Dis was the given name and I started calling her little dis because it sounded like little sis,” you explain and Fili and Kili laugh.

“Amad’s never told us that story,” Kili says. “That’s because your amad didn’t know that story,” you admit, “I think the funniest part of that story was the fact that I convinced Frerin that my parents wished he was a girl.”

They give you this shocked look and you try to quickly explain the situation.

“When I was 15, Frerin was born and before that, Thorin asked me what I thought our parents were having. They wanted another girl, but for some reason I knew it was going to be a boy and out came your uncle and 9 years later I told that to Frerin as a joke. I told him that they bought pink, frilly things and he actually believed me and thought that they wanted a girl. I made him cry actually. Felt bad after that,” you say, taking a sip of your ale.

“No one’s ever mentioned that story,” Kili pouts and Dis flashes through your mind. “What have you heard of me?” you ask, honestly curios on what your siblings told your nephews. “That you and Thorin were best friends and then you weren’t,” Fili says. “I’m guessing Thorin doesn’t talk about me?” you ask, trying not to seem hopeful.

“Not really. We try to ask him about you, but he always brushes it off,” Kili says and you nod. You expected it honestly. Thorin didn’t trust many people and once his trust was broken, that was it. There was absolutely no going back.

“Well, enough about my sad life. Let’s talk about my beautiful nephews. How old are you and how is your father. If I remember correctly, he’s Frerin’s age,” you say, trying to get your mind off of the sadness.

“Well I’m 82 and Kili’s 77. Our father however died in a mining accident when Kee was just five,” Fili explains and you curse your stupidity. “I’m sorry,” you say and Fili shrugs. “You’re just like your two uncles then. Born five years apart. That’s some coincidence,” you say, shaking your head.

“What was it like growing up with Thorin and Frerin?” Kili asks. You shrug.

“Well, I guess I went through what you both went through. There’s not much a difference,” you tell them.

“But like what was Thorin like as a kid?” Fili asks.

“A kid. We weren’t that different from you both. Well, more like Thorin and Frerin were like you both. Its quite scary. Those two were thick as thieves let me tell you. Where one went the other followed. There were these dams that they both used to like and they’d follow them around like a bunch of lost pups,” you say.

“We did not chase them around. They chased us around,” a new voice adds and you turn to see Frerin carrying empty plates in. “Yeah. Sure and you didn’t play dress up because they asked,” you tell him sarcastically. “You played dress up?” Kili asks with a snort.

“Yeah and they weren’t the princes either,” you tell them and they break into laughter causin Frerin to groan. “Boys, go help clear the table,” Frerin says, nodding towards the dining room. They take the hint and leave.

“You were so in love with Gildra,” you tease and he smiles. “And you weren’t in love with anyone,” he says, taking a seat across from you. “Not my area of expertise,” you shrug as the dwarf with an ax in his head comes into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just hope you know that I could never hate you,” Frerin says as you hear another dwarf ask what he should do with his plate. “I know. I know. I guess everything is my fault. I shouldn’t have left like that without saying hello, at least,” you tell him as Fili says, “here you go Ori, give it to me.”

You watch as a plate comes flying into the room with wide eyes. “You saved my life so I guess it can be forgiven,” Frerin says, ducking before a plate has the chance to hit him. The both of you watch and sing along as the dishes start stacking up and slowly the kitchen becomes filled with dwarves and a wizard. “That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!” everyone sings as Bilbo comes into the kitchen. He looks thoroughly surprised and everyone laughs at his face, but the laughter is soon interrupted by a knock on  the door.

You look to Gandalf as he turns to the door.

“He is here,” he says and your stomach tightens, knowing that it’s Thorin. The other dwarves follow Gandalf to the door, but you make your way to the dining room, taking a seat in the corner and waiting. You had to face him sooner or later. You hear Thorin’s voice and you stomach continues to flip, anxiety slowly creeping up. You were not ready for this. You were so not ready. You needed to get out of here.

Before you could even stand, Thorin walks in, smile quickly disappearing from his face as he says.

“You,” he growls out.

“Seems like your vocabulary has drastically shortened brother,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“You have absolutely no right to be. Absolutely none. You are no longer a Durin,” he says, getting dangerously close.

“You forget who was a Durin first. You may be king, but you are still younger than I am and I have every right to be here. More than majority of the dwarves here,” you tell him.

It’s obvious he doesn’t like your answer as his eyes narrow again. You notice the other dwarves making their way in.

“I told you that if you left, you were never going to be a part of the family anymore and I meant it,” he tells you.

“Except, it wasn’t your choice to make was it. Last time I checked, father was still the patriarch at the time,” you tell him.

“And now he’s missing which makes me the patriarch meaning I have say on what goes on in this family and you are no longer a part of it,” he growls yet again and he’s starting to sound like an animal.

“Well, if I’m no longer a part of the family, then I have no one I actually need to listen to, if I’m correct. And that means, Thorin, that I actually don’t have to listen to you,” you say as a matter of factly. (its not an actual thing but I hope you understand what I mean). He grabs your shirt, but you are quicker. You push his hand away, grabbing his wrist. Using your other hand you push him against the wall and hold his hand in a very uncomfortable position.

“You dare attack the person who taught you everything? You seem to forget Thorin that I know everything about you. All your strengths and your weaknesses. I will go on this quest whether you like it or not and that is final little brother,” you tell him before letting him go. You back away as he straightens out and you go into the parlor to calm down.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get stuck in a tree and you call to your little brother for help.

You sigh from your spot between Fili and Kili, watching as Thorin, Dwalin, and Frerin discuss something up ahead. You had gathered your burglar and now the journey truly began with no one, but your nephews, Ori, and Bilbo talking to you.

You should’ve expected it. They must’ve heard rumors about what had happened before they were even born and if they hadn’t then they would’ve taken Thorin’s side anyway. He was King and you were just the first born.

“Y/n,” Kili says and you turn to look at him. “What is it, Kili?” you ask. “I asked you if there was anything that our amad secretly liked when she was a child,” He replies and you smile.

“She loved dresses. Absolutely loved them which is why we’re complete opposites. There was this one dress that I bought in Dale the day the dragon attacked and she loved it. She wanted to buy it to impress your father, but she never got to wear it. I still have it in my closet of course, but I suppose she never needed it to impress Vili,” you tell them.

Fili and Kili exchange looks.

“She had always suspected that you threw it away,” Fili states. “Of course not. I keep everything that reminds me of the home we lost. I still have things your uncles gave me as well. Like these two beads in my hair,” you say, pointing to your braids, ” these were from Thorin. It was one of his first that he ever made in the forge when he was 15. He hated it, but I loved it and so I took it from him and braided it into my hair. Never took it off.”

“Hold on. How old are you exactly?” Kili asks.

“205. So I’ve had these in my hair for 175 years,” you tell them, smiling.

“And you’re not married and dont have any kids?” Fili asks, raising an eyebrow. You nod.

“It wasn’t something for me. I do want kids and I wish I was there to see you two grow up, but things happen and I’d doubt that I’d ever find someone now. I’m way too old for that,” you admit.

Fili shakes his head with a small smile.

“You and Thorin are exactly the same. You both don’t want to settle down,” Fili says and you laugh.

“Really? It’s like we were born from the same parents or something,” you say, sarcastically and that causes Fili to glare at you and Kili to laugh. It was unbelievable how closely Fili and Kili resembled Frerin and Thorin. Including the hair. It was like looking into the past when you first saw them.

“But seriously though. You never settled down?” Kili asks and you shake your head.

“There was one dwarf that I fancied. He was one of my first friends when I journeyed to the Iron Hill. My only friend, if I’m being honest, but he left back to Ered Luin after Battle of Azanulbizar and I haven’t seen him since,” you tell them quietly. Fili and Kili exchange another look before Thorin calls for a stop to make camp.

You set your things down away from everyone and you sit on the edge of the cliff, overlooking the scenery below.

“Lass?” You hear a voice ask and you turn to find Balin. “Should you be sitting so close to edge?” He asks. “I’ll be fine Balin,” you say as a huge gust of wind comes. You hold onto the ground, waiting for the wind to pass and look up at Balin meekly.

“I think I’ll take that back,” you say and he holds out a hand to you to help you stand. You smile at him in thanks. “How is your father?” You ask as you two make your way back to the company.

“He passed away twenty years back,” Balin states and you sigh. You really missed out on a lot. “I’m sorry,” you tell him. “It’s quite alright lass. He is now with amad in Mahal’s Halls. I am just glad we got to spend more time with him,” he says and you nod and he goes to talk to Thorin while you go to check on your things.

Your blanket seems to be missing. You look around for it and can’t find it. You stop dead in your tracks and look up. There it is. Stuck in a bloody tree.

It was known to you, Thorin, and Frerin that you were absolutely afraid of heights. It was silly thing to be afraid of but you were.

You sigh looking around for help. You could ask your nephews, but they seemed busy with Thorin and the hobbit and ori seemed least likely to climb the tree and you hadn’t dared ask anyone else.

You breathe in deeply and start your trek up the tree. It was an easy climb and you were so occupied with gathering your things that you hadn’t noticed that Thorin had stopped mid sentence to watch you.

When you reach the blanket, you throw it on the ground and you make the mistake of looking down. You whimper, closing your eyes. You were a good 20 feet off the ground.

Thorin sighs as he notices you stiffen. You got yourself into this mess, you needed to get yourself out. Frerin nudges Thorin. “Thorin,” he says. “No. She got herself up there. She can get herself down,” Thorin growls and Kili and Fili turn around to see what they’re talking about. They let out a snicker as they see you clinging onto the tree for dear life.

“Thorin! You know her fear of heights. She will never be able to get down by herself,” Frerin says.

“Then you go and help her. I am not-“

“RIN!” You cry out and that makes his heart stop. He hasn’t heard that name in 172 years and just that alone is bringing back so much memories of him chasing you around with his wooden stick and him tackling you to the ground with his name on your lips.

Thorin looks over to Frerin and Frerin shoots him a smile, nodding towards the tree. Thorin sighs, standing.

“Rin,” you whimper, tears clouding your eyes and cursing your stupidity. You should’ve never climbed this tree. You hear branches creaking and you look up expecting to find Dwalin or one of your nephews, but you are met with blue durin eyes.

“Rin?” You ask and he sighs, the name itself bringing more unwanted memories.”Just relax, y/n and close your eyes. We’re going to get through this, just like we did when we were children,” he tells you reaching out for your hand. You nod and you take his hand, closing your eyes.

Thorin wraps his arm around your waist and your arms immediately goes around his neck. He slowly takes the both of you down. You don’t open your eyes until your feet are firmly planted on the ground. You let out a breath of relief as Thorin lets you go. You look at him, the current situation making its way back into your mind. You clear your throat.

“Thank you Thorin,” you say. He glares at you before grunting and walking away. Looks like you were back to where you started.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company reaches Rivendell.

It has to be the longest day ever, you decide.

First, you were captured by trolls and spent the night wide awake, tied in a sack. When you had finally gotten free, you were then forced to run away from orcs and wargs and had somehow found yourself in an underground cave. You just wanted to sleep.

You trudge through the path that Dwalin had found, accidently stepping on Frerin’s heel.

Frerin curses as he trips up and he turns to glare at you.

“I’m sorry, Frerin. I’m just so tired,” you groan, thumping your head on his shoulder. You continue to rest it there as you make your way down the path. He just shakes his head, turning to watch the path and trying to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

Frerin knew that Thorin was glaring holes through his head, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t got to be this close to you in years and he wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity.

Frerin stops, but you continue walking almost knocking him over in the process.

“Sorry little fer,” you apologize, straightening out.

Frerin, when you were children, had also insisted on a nickname since you always called Thorin, Rin. Little Fer was the best you could do and you were disappointed in it, but Frerin ate it up.

“I haven’t heard that in so long,” Frerin mumbles as you move to stand beside him.

“There are many things that I haven’t heard in so long that I miss every single day of my life,” you tell him, look around at the valley of Imladris. It was absolutely amazing.

You continue to ignore Gandalf as you walk to the ledge. You look down and wonder how this is all possible. How can this place be hidden so well?

There were gorgeous waterfalls streaming down off to the side and you were pretty sure there were littler ones decorating the path. The water falls were meeting at the river below and you were sure that the river stretched on for miles and miles. The trees were still starting to come back to life and they made the most amazing greens you had ever seen. You close your eyes for a bit, taking in the calming aura it was sending off.

“This was your plan all along-,” you hear Thorin grumble and that interrupts your calm thoughts.

Had you realized he would turn out to be such a grump, you would’ve never left. You turn your body to look at him, but you panic as you feel something bump into you. You let out a little scream as you find yourself falling over the ledge. A hand reaches out to grab you and you clutch onto that hand for dear life. You are pulled back up and you bend over to rest on your knees, wondering who saved your life.

“You stupid woman! You know you are afraid of heights and yet you stand next to the ledge as if you are not!” Ah. That would be Thorin.

“You move fast brother,” you say, straightening out and ignoring the insult. Playing it off like it didn’t hurt seemed to always be the best option these days. You try to dust off imaginary dirt as Thorin’s glare intensifies.

“You’re lucky I have my eye on you at all times! You would’ve died if I hadn’t been here,” Thorin exclaims, voice cold Your heart soars just a little bit. It shows that he still cares about you even if it was a very, tiny bit.

“You are nothing, but a burden.”

And there goes your heart once again.

“Then you should’ve just let me die, Thorin. Like you should’ve all those years back,” you retort, stepping away from him and following the rocky path downwards.

To Thorin, that was like a slap in the face, but he schools his features and follows after everyone except for Frerin. Frerin waits patiently for his brother to catch up before also following the rest of the company.

“This – whatever – between the two of you is getting old, Thorin. Don’t you think it’s time to get over it?” Frerin asks.

“Get over it? I will never get over it, Frerin. Erebor was betrayed, twice, that day. Once by the elves and the other by it’s own princess. Do not think that I will forget so easily,” Thorin warns.

“Thorin. It’s obvious that she still cares about you. About us, but you cannot see it because you’ve got your head stuck up your-“

“I will never forgive her, Frerin! She betrayed our people, she betrayed our family. She left me! And I will never forgive her,” Thorin responds angrily, voice carrying over the entire company, including you and it hurt. So. Much.

You try to ignore the ache in your heart as the company comes to a halt on a landing.

You look around and you can see elves in the distance, watching you all. Some are whispering to each other while most are continuing their previous journey. The elf that catches your eye the most, however, is the one that was making his way down the stairs now.

“Mithrandir,” the elf says, holding his hand to his heart and extending it to gesture towards the wizard.

“Ah. Lindir,” Gandalf replies and that is when you lose track of the conversation. You decide to just look around and you contemplate on whether or not you should stay here. Sure, you had promised to help reclaim Erebor, but you did not know if you could handle Thorin hating you.

“I must speak to Lord Elrond,” Gandalf states and that gains your attention once again. “My Lord Elrond is not here,” Lindir replies and Gandalf looks at him confused.

“Where is he?”

Before Linidr can answer, you hear a horn sound in the distance. That must’ve answered the question because Gandalf doesn’t ask anymore.

You turn around as you hear horses coming towards you. There is a murmur going through the dwarves and suddenly, after hearing Thorin’s shout to close ranks, you are being thrust in the middle of a circle of dwarves.

You look over the heads of the dwarves and look at Gandalf, confused. He just shrugs as the horses come to a slow stop.

You look at the elves as they dismount. You realize that one is three heads shorter than the rest and you tilt your head to the side as you see his knees moving in the back of the horse.

Weren’t elves supposed to be taller than that?

“Gandalf,” another elf says and your attention is drawn from the peculiar elf to the other one as he draws Gandalf into a conversation. He turns to you all and Gandalf suggests that it might have been the company’s fault for driving the orcs so close. He looks you over first and then his eyes move over to Frerin and Thorin as the horses are led out.

“Y/n, Thorin and Frerin the children of Thrain. I was not expecting to by greeted by the house of Durin,” Lord Elrond states. 

You hear a curse in Khuzdul, but it’s not from your group of dwarves. You all turn towards the source and you see a very familiar dwarf looking back at you. A dwarf that you had not seen since the Battle of Azanulbizar. The one who had stolen your heart and broken it without even knowing it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious dwarf is revealed.

Gilrin had still looked the same as ever, which was strange. He should’ve at least gained some gray hairs over the past century. You had some of your own which was neatly hidden, but you guess that he just aged differently.

He was in typical dwarven garb. He did not have a long beard; it was only two inches past his chin and a bit thin. You remembered him mentioning that he had a hard time growing one and you had guessed that it never grew. His long hair was brushed into a bun, but there were a few braids woven through out. If it wasn’t for the clothing and familiar scar on his eyebrow, you would’ve guessed that he was just a very short man.

“Gilrin? Is that you?” someone asks and you turn to find Frerin breaking free of the group of dwarves. He knew Gilrin?

“It is. It’s been too long,” Gilrin replies, head-butting your brother, causing you to look away. They were obviously close. They had probably become friends after Moria.

“Thorin! You look as young as ever,” Girlin states and Thorin chuckles, also head-butting him. You had not heard Thorin laugh in ages. They were obviously close friends.

Gilrin had left and decided to make friends with your brothers. How typical.

Said dwarf comes to stand in front of you and you huff, crossing your arms and looking away.

He sighs.

“You’re mad aren’t you?”

“What do you think?” you tell him and you don’t notice Fili and Kili exchange looks, a light bulb going off in their head.

Thorin and Frerin exchange the same looks and if you had caught the four of them, you’d mistake them for quadruplets.

“Come. You must be weary from your travels,” Lord Elrond states and you follow Lord Elf, ignoring Gilrin.

You know you had absolutely no right to be mad because you had done the same thing to your family, but you can’t help it. You fell in love with him and you had thought he had perished until you received a letter a year later saying he moved to Ered Luin. You had never been so alone in your life.

You had your cousin Dain, but he was the Lord of the Iron Hills. He had more important business to take care of.

“Y/n!” you hear two voices call. You stop and let the other dwarves pass, waiting for your nephews to catch up.

“Who is that dwarf?” Kili asks as you three follow the rest of the company. “Is he the one you told us about? The one you haven’t seen since Moria?” Fili asks.

“Maybe,” you shrug. Fili and Kili smirk and you decide that you didn’t like it when they smirked.

“Are you going to talk to him?” Kili asks, taking your arm with his.

“Well, I did talk to him. Not going to talk to him again if that’s what you’re hoping,” you say.

Kili deflates a little.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because there is absolutely nothing to talk about. The past is the past. What we need to focus on right now is the quest,” you tell him.

“But will you talk to him after the quest?” Fili asks. You shake your head.

“You are thinking to far ahead, my dearest nephew,” you tell him as you all come to a stop at the dining area. You notice Thorin already sitting with Gandalf and Lord Elrond and that Gilrin had joined the company as well. You take a seat between Kili and Bofur, as far away from Gilrin as possible.

“Lass,” Bofur states and you look at him in shock. No one has ever spoken to you before. You always found yourself secluded from the rest, only talking to Dwalin, Balin, Fili, Kili, and Bilbo. Ori had tried talking to you, but he was always taken away by Dori.

“How can I help you, master dwarf?” you ask.

“Well. What is your relationship to Gilrin exactly?”

You sigh. You might as well just get over it.

“I don’t know exactly how much it is you know about him, but he was originally from the Iron Hills. He was the dwarf that showed me around when I first arrived. We quickly became friends and he was actually the one that snuck me into the Battle of Moria,” you say, laughing at the memory.

Dwalin smiles, remembering all too well what had happened that day.

“What was your name? Fallan, right? Son of-“

“Galdon,” you and Dwalin both finish, laughing at your attempt at hiding your gender.

“Son?” Bofur asks.

“Ah yes. When my grandfather had called for warriors for Moria, I had wanted to fight as well. I had bought this up to cousin Nain, but he denied me saying that because I was of the royal family, he didn’t want me to go. So I had to sneak into the army with the help of Gilrin, I became Fallan, son of Galdon, a mute dwarf who had trust issues and would not remove my armor,” you explain and Bofur laughs.

“Aye. I can’t believe I fell for that. It was embarrassing when I found out you were a woman,” Dwalin says, shaking his head.

“Why? You saved my life right before you found that out,” you tell him.

“But I should’ve known that you were hiding something when you didn’t take off your armor, even when you went to bed,” he says and you laugh.

“I did what I had to do,” you shrug as the elves put food in front of you.

“So you were there at Moria?” Nori asks and you nod.

“I had fought alongside many. Saved Frerin and fought back to back with Fundin. It was gruesome, ill tell you. I’m glad none of you were born yet,” you tell him.

They seemed like easy guys to talk to. Maybe you should stop closing yourself off to them.

“What was Erebor like? Thorin and Frerin never really talk about it and amad was too young to remember anything. At least that’s what she told us,” Kili states.

“Well, the mountain itself is made out of dark green marble and everything in Erebor was marble. It was absolutely breath taking. The mountain was, I’m pretty sure, the same height above and below. The very tip is where they found the arkenstone,” you explain excitedly. All of these dwarves were not born yet when Erebor was sacked and you were excited to tell them about your days there.

“It was very cavernous as per usually. Statues of dwarves were carved sporadically into the mountain. There were so many halls, you wouldn’t believe it. The royal wing was the farthest from the front gate due to obvious reasons. Homes were so intricately design, you wouldn’t even believe your eyes. Makes for great games of hide and seek,” you explain and everyone laughs.

Most of the Company’s attentions are drawn to you as you try to explain Erebor as best as possible. Even Thorin was listening in, smiling at some of the stories you told.

When dinner ends, you make your way to your chambers, closer to the Company than you ever thought you’d be. Everyone had been offered rooms, but you, Bilbo and Gandalf had been the only ones to accept.

They really loved to be together. You thank the elf maid that had lead you to your rooms and you enter the room, looking around in awe.

The bed looked absolutely wonderful and the thought of just going to bed right now was tempting, but you needed a bath. Lord Elf had said that bathes had already been drawn and you were excited. You go into the adjacent room, smiling as you see the tub and the steam coming off of it.

You shed your clothes and step into the bath, sighing at the warm water caressing your aching body. You sink against the tub, closing your your eyes.

You just want to sit there forever. Your body starts to relax and once it does, you begin your scrubbing. You had a lot of dirt on you and although you should be used to it you weren’t.

You scrub until every inch of your body is clean and your hair is thoroughly washed.

You drain the tub as you step out, grabbing the towel that was hanging up. Since you were not planning on leaving your room for the rest of the night, you decide to put on the night gown that was provided for you before you light the firewood already in the hearth. You take a seat on the chair next to the fireplace, watching the flames flicker back and forth.

A knock sounds at your door and you stand to open it. You frown as you see Gilrin standing on the other side.

You move to shut the door but he stops it.

“Please,” he begs,”just let me explain.”

You sigh and let him in, not noticing a pair of blue eyes watching in the distance.

You close the door and offer him a seat. He takes it and you settle down across from him.

“I am sorry. For leaving you,” he starts and he looks sincere, making you reevaluate your treatment of him. He had no reason to be treated like this by you. You had absolutely no right to be mad at him for leaving. Not when you did the same thing.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be mad,” you mumble.

“But you have every right-,”

“I don’t. I really don’t. I just. I thought you died,” you tell him quietly. You turn to look at the floor as he kneels in front of you.

He gently cups your cheek in his hand to bring your face towards him.

“I am sorry,” he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek, “I did not think that you had survived either. You were nowhere to be found and it wasn’t until after we returned to Ered Luin that I overheard Frerin and Thorin talking about the day you ran off. I had never regretted going to Ered Luin so much.”

“But why did you stay? Why didn’t you come back?” You ask, not adding the “to me” part.

“I had received no message back so I assumed that you hated me,” he says and you sigh.

“I could never hate you,” you tell him, resting your forehead against his.

You both, smile, closing your eyes. It didn’t repair everything but it was a start.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sparring session leads to a confession.

The next morning, you wake up to a knock on the door. 

You and Gilrin had spent all night catching up. According to him, he had been living with the elves for well over ten years. He was traveling to the Iron Hills to see you again when he had gotten ambushed by orcs and saved by the elves. Since then, he hadn’t left. Rivendell had this very calming aura and that was what made him want to stay in the first place. 

He had to work to gain the trust of the elves, but he did eventually which is why he was a part of the guard and why he was still allowed to live there. It had been difficult for him, at first, but he had gotten used to it.

You stand, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes. You open the door to find the elf from the day before. Lindir or something like that.

“My lady. Lord Elrond has asked me to check on you. He was worried when he did not see you at breakfast or lunch,” Lindir says and suddenly all tiredness disappears.

“Is it already past noon? Oh I am so late!” you exclaim, running back into the room, ignoring Lindir’s call of “my lady?”

You had promised Gilrin that you’d spar with him after lunch. You wanted to get things to the way it was before and you knew that sparring would help it along. You were already screwing up.

You tug on your boots after putting on your weapons and day clothes, hopping out the door as you do so. You fail to notice Lindir watching you with a smile on his face. He shakes his head and closes the door, leaving to attend to other matters.

You try to quicken your pace without breaking into a run. When you turn the corner, you stop as you realize something. You had absolutely no idea where you were or where you were supposed to be going.

You groan, slapping your forehead.

“Are you okay?”

You look up at the sound of the voice and you find Gilrin leaning on the wall with a smirk on his face.

“Oh thank Durin. I’m so sorry. I slept in and I forgot and Lindir woke me and I ran out of the room without asking for directions-“

Girlin’s laughter interrupts you. You pout at him and he smiles.

“Don’t worry about it. I do suppose it was my fault for keeping you up so late and not giving you directions to where I was supposed to be. I actually forgot that you had no idea where to go until Frerin reminded me,” Gilrin explains and you smile at him after letting out a sigh of relief.

“I thought I was already starting to ruin things,” you admit and he smiles, offering his arm.

“You could never ruin things,” he tells you and you blush, accepting his arm.

You both go to an empty training area. Well,an almost empty training area. The entire company was there watching as Thorin and Dwalin sparred.

You take a seat next to Frerin, watching your little brother and little cousin spar. 

Thorin had gotten better over the years and you can’t help but notice that he was still fit for a dwarf his age. He shouldn’t have been able to move the way that he did but he did. His movements were so graceful, something that you had always envied. You questioned it when you were younger because you thought only elves moved like that. Thorin was not to happy at the suggestion that he was part elf.

The fight comes to an end as Thorin holds his sword to Dwalin’s neck. Dwalin lets out a chuckle a backs away, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Aye. For an old man, you sure do fight like a youngin’,” Dwalin tells him, laughing. Thorin lets out a deep chuckle, using his discarded tunic to wipe the sweat off of his body.

You look away as he makes eye contact with you. You knew that a frown would appear on his face and you didn’t think your hear would be able to handle it.

“Well come on sweetcheeks,” Gilrin says, nudging you as he stands.

You glare at him.

“You know I hate that nickname,” you tell him also standing.

“You always liked it when it came from me,” Gilrin sing songs. You laugh, too busy getting your sword to hear Thorin’s growl.

Frerin isn’t though and he raises his brow as Thorin takes a seat next to him with a frown on his face.

“Something wrong brother?” Frerin asks as you shed your clothes so that you are only in a white undershirt and your vest and trousers.

“Nothing,” Thorin mumbles as he glares holes at Gilrin. Frerin chuckles, turning back to watch you and Gilrin.

“Come on Aunt y/n! Show him what being a Durin is all about!” Kili calls out and you chuckle at your nephew.

Gilrin swings his sword at you, but you block him easily. While your swords are still connected, you twist on your left foot and kick him in his stomach. He grunts and backs away.

“I forgot that you like to cheat,” Gilrin grumbles, taking his stance again.

“It’s not cheating. It’s using everything you have,” you retort before advancing on him.

You knew you were getting rusty as you block another one of Gilrin’s attacks. You were always on defense in this fight and you need to hurry up and start attacking before you lost.

 _Times up,_ you think as Gilrin holds his sword to your neck.

He was currently behind you, holding your free hand tight against your back with his foot on your sword.

“I win,” he whispers in your ear and you let out a breathy laugh before he releases you.

“You’re getting old,” he says. You let out yet another laugh, trying to calm your breathing.

“The last time I actually fought was in Moria so it’s been years,” you say.

“Well, its always a joy watching you move. Especially that ass,” Gilrin states sending you a wink. Before you or anyone can react, he’s lying on the ground with a bloody nose and Thorin standing above him angrily.

“You dare talk to a queen like that?” he growls out and you pull him away from Gilrin. 

“What in Durin’s name is your problem Thorin?” you exclaim, helping Gilrin up.

“He shouldn’t be making these comments about you. You are a queen of Erebor. Not some common wench,” Thorin growls, wanting more than to just punch him in his face. 

He did not like the fact that Gilrin was so close to you both physically and emotionally. He did not approve of it one bit.

“It was only in jest, Thorin,” you say, accepting the rag Bofur held out to you for Gilrin’s bloody nose. He grunts in thanks and tilts his head back, Oin leading him over to a bench to check on his nose.

“Either way he should not speak to you like that being the commoner that he is.”

That makes your blood boil.

“Why do you even care? You want nothing to do with me.”

“Oh you stupid woman! Of course I care about you. No matter what you may think I have never stopped caring about you! Everyday, since the day you left, I had wished that it was some horrible dream. That I did not lose the two of the three most important women in my life. I waited, days, to get word from you. it never came and even then I did not stop caring. I have never stopped caring and the fact that you let him talk to you like that pisses me off. You deserve better than some common soldier who left to go live with elves!” Thorin exclaims.

That makes your heart leap. All these years, you thought he hated you. He even acted like it from the start of the journey. To find out that he didn’t brought back the lost hope.

“Thorin-,”

Before you can even finish your sentence, he walks away. You turn to Frerin, but he’s watching Thorin leave. You sigh. Now what?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo plays family counselor. Sort of.

You move to follow Thorin, but a hand stops you. You follow the hand to find Dwalin looking down at you.

“I think it’ll be best to just let him be, lass.”

“But I need to know what he meant,” you say, trying to break free of Dwalin’s grip.

Balin puts a hand on your shoulder and you stop your thrashing.

“I don’t think he knew what he meant,” Balin tells you and you deflate a bit.

“Are you saying that everything he said was a lie?” You ask quietly, trying not to sound hurt and Dwalin curses his brother for his choice of words.

He didn’t like seeing you sad if he was being honest.

“That’s not at all what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that- well. I-,” Balin stutters.

“You know Thorin, y/n. He only says what’s exactly on his mind when he’s pissed. I don’t think he was ready to tell you all of this,” Frerin says, coming to the rescue.

Balin lets out a sigh of relief. He was just digging himself into a deeper hole.

“But-,” you start but frown as you try to find the words.

“Just don’t worry about it alright. Just give him some time and let him come to you,” Frerin says, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“But what if he doesn’t come to me? What if he just goes back to pretending like I don’t exist? I don’t think I can handle that Frerin,” you tell him, choking back tears.

“I’ll talk to him alright. Don’t you worry about a thing,” he says and you nod.

Fili and Kili exchange looks.

“And I thought we had problems,” Kili states, jumping as you snap,”it runs in the family!”

You leave the courtyard to clear your head from this mess.

“-it’s obvious she still loves you,”  you hear as you walk down the hall. You pause as you recognize the voice as Bilbos. What you want to know is who he’s talking to.

“Does she though? After the way I’ve been treating her? She couldn’t even look me in the eye when she walked into the courtyard.”

Ah. That would be Thorin. You lean against the wall waiting for the rest of the conversation. Maybe the hobbit can fix this.

“Of course she does. If she didn’t why would she have your beads in her hair?” Bilbo asks and your hand moves to your hair to make sure it’s still there.

“I- those are my beads?” Thorin asks and you hear the hobbit sigh.

He seemed so done with everything.

“From what I’ve heard, yes. She hasn’t taken them off since you first gave them to her. And I know that beads are very important in your culture so I’m sure she still loves you. If that doesn’t prove anything the fact that she called out for you and only you when she was in trouble has to mean something,” Bilbo says.

“What do I do? I still love her but at the same time I’m angry at her for leaving our family,” Thorin asks.

“I think your words have been harsh and she obviously suffers from them, but if you talk it out with her, everything will be alright in the end. From what she has told me, I know that she miss you. A lot,” Bilbo says and you smile at your family counselor.

“Very well. I will speak to her later. Thank you, master burglar,” Thorin says and that is when you decide to take your leave. You back away and go back the way you came. You turn the corner and you find Lord Elrond a few paces ahead.

“It is not polite to eavesdrop on private conversations,” he calls out without turning around and that makes you pause in your footsteps.

“I was simply tying my shoe,” you say as you fall into step with him. He looks down at you with a raised brow causing you to sigh.

“I just need to know what Thorin had to say,” you tell him.

“It seems the line of Durin is not as stable as it used to be,” Elrond states.

“You try having your home attacked by a dragon,” you snap and you immediately apologize.

“It is fine. I guess I have overstepped some boundaries,” he says.

“Don’t you mean all? You basically just called my family crazy,” you ask.

“Well, you are the eldest, I’m sure you have noticed the sickness that your grandfather contracted,” Elrond states and you nod.

“What is to say that Thorin Oakenshield will not fall under the same sickness?”

“Nothing, but I do believe Thorin will try not to and if he does, Frerin and I will be there to help him. No matter what the cost. We are family and we will stick by each other until the very end,” you say firmly, oblivious to a certain King listening to your conversation.

Eavesdropping must run in the family.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Thorin finally talk it out.

It had been eleven days. Eleven painful days since you had seen Thorin last. You had thought that maybe Thorin would come to see you the day after, but he didn’t so you waited for the next only to be let down yet again. So you slowly started to lose hope. **  
**

You chose to go to the kitchen for your meals and after the first day, the elves were fine with it. They had apparently told their Lord for Lindir had stop coming to your room to ask where you were.

You avoided everyone except for Gilrin. Actually it was more like he found you. He had been wondering where you were after the first three days and Lindir had sent him to the kitchens. The elf ratted you out.

You were grateful, however, when you realized that you now had someone to confide in. You had told Gilrin that you might stay in Rivendell and then head to the Blue Mountains once the Company left. You no longer felt like you belonged with the Company and you figured Dis might be happy to see you even if Thorin wasn’t. Gilrin had accepted your decision and had admitted to wanting to join the Company, but only if you were a part of it.

His nose did not set correctly and there was now a little bump as evidence of Thorin’s rage. Gilrin was okay with it though. He did overstep some boundaries especially since you hadn’t seen each other in years, but still Thorin had no right.

You were currently in a courtyard lying on a little grassy area just staring at the sky and listening to the sounds around you.

“We leave tomorrow before dawn. Be ready,” a gruff voice calls out, startling you. You sit up quickly to find Thorin turning and getting ready to leave.

“I will not be continuing this journey with you,” you say and that makes him stop.

“Excuse me?” Thorin asks, slightly peeved as he turns to face you.

“You heard me Thorin. I will not be coming. My decision is final,” you say before laying back and closing your eyes.

“Why stop now? You fought with me to let you be on this journey and two months in, you give up?” He snaps.

You scoff.

“I am not giving up. I am simply giving into your wishes. That’s what you wish, isn’t it? To never see me again?” You ask.

“Of course not! Have you not heard what I had said 11 days ago?” He snaps and you know he’s closer.

You open your eyes and stand as you realize Thorin is merely a foot away. He looks absolutely livid, but you didn’t understand why.

“Oh I heard it loud and clear, Thorin, but it obviously meant nothing. You had not approached me in the eleven days since. Little Fer told me you’d need sometime and I gave it to you, little brother, but you didn’t take it which is why I have decided to stay. After you leave, I will be making my way to the Blue Mountains to visit Dis and then I will be off. Now if you excuse me,” you say walking pass him.

Thorin tries to quickly make a decision, but there are so many things going on in his mind that he can’t think straight.

“Halt!” He shouts, cringing as he realizes that that has to be the stupidest thing to ever come out of his mouth.

“Who goes there?” You reply out of instinct before facing him.

You both used to play pranks on the guards at night and that is the one phrase you would hear often. They never caught you, obviously but it was always something you thought was funny to hear.

“What, Thorin?” You ask after a few moments of silence,”did you want to say something or did you just have a random spurt of memories that you just had to say out loud?”

Thorin resists the urge to roll his eyes at your sarcasm. You always knew exactly what to say to annoy him.

“If you’d just let me think for a moment that would be great,” he grits out and the corner of your lips lifts a bit. Sarcasm runs through both of your veins.

Thorin closes his eyes, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the ground. You sigh as you realize he’s trying to gather his thoughts. He always does this. Even when you were children. You once gave him shit for it because instead of thinking about things he had actually fallen asleep. Standing! I mean who does that?

“I know it’s been years since we’ve had a decent conversation,” he starts, looking up at you,” and if we could have one now that would be great.”

You nod and the both of you sit on a bench, sitting at either ends.

“We’ve both hurt each other, I more than you, and I’m sorry. For everything. For not coming to your coming of age, for not doing more to help amad, for treating you the way I have,” Thorin says and you know he’s having issues apologizing.

He never had issues with that growing up.

You reach over and hold your palm up, waiting patiently for him to take it. It had sucked that you were hesitant about touching your little brother but things happen.

He looks at your hand for a moment contemplating a bit before taking it.

The moment he does, memories start flooding your mind. The days you would hold his hand while walking to Dale. The day you held him to you as he told you about the one dam that broke his heart. Everything just hits you at once.

“I am sorry,” you say, trying to stop the memories from flowing, “for leaving our family. For leaving you to deal with everything. For not talking to you about why I had started calling you Thorin and most of all for blaming you for amad’s death. You did not deserve everything I had put you through and I realize that now and I’m so so sorry Rin,” you say, letting out a little sob.

The hand holding yours tugs and soon you are clinging to your little brother just like when you were children but the roles were reversed.

Your family had gone through so much pain, some of it because of you, and you can’t help, but think that maybe Aule had cursed the line of Durin.

It takes a while before you and Thorin back away from each other. You look his face over and you realize that he had let out a few tears of his own. He never cried ever and you knew that he was indeed sorry.

You both reach out to wipe each other’s tears away and you let out a little giggle while Thorin gives you a small smile. You frown as you hear running, but you have no time to look for the source as you and Thorin are both tackled to the ground by a very enthusiastic Frerin.

“You finally made up!” Frerin shouts causing you both to wince.

“For durin’s sake Frerin! Get off you little devil! You’re not as small as you used to be!” you exclaim, trying to breathe properly.

“Oh. Right,” he says before standing. He holds out his hands to you both. You both stand dusting yourselves off.

“Did all of your common sense just fly out the window?” Thorin asks with a growl.

“Yes? Look I was excited that you think headed dwarves finally made up after 172 years,” Frerin grumbles and that earns a punch in the shoulder from the both of you.

Thorin turns to you expectantly.

“Will you continue this journey with us? I can’t lose you now,” he says and you nod.

“Of course. Someone has to make sure you two idiots don’t get killed and I’m sure our nephews won’t do it,” you tell him with a smile.

“Rude!” you hear two voices shout and you realized that every member of your family were eavesdroppers.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin finds out Gilrin is joining the company.

The next morning, you find yourself walking alongside Gilrin and behind Bilbo as you make your way out of Rivendell. You had told Gilrin that you were leaving on the journey and he had asked to join. You had said yes, but Thorin did not know. Well not yet anyway.

“Where are you going?” Thorin says, side stepping you and holding the butt of his ax to Gilrin’s chest.

“Rin,” you start, pushing the hilt away from Girlin.

“He is an extra mouth to feed, y/n,” Thorin growls, not turning away from Gilrin.

“We are dwarves, Thorin. We have survived on less,” you tell him and his attention turns to you, contemplating

“He is yours to take care of. All of his mistakes will fall on you. Do not make me regret this,” Thorin states and you nod before walking pass him with Gilrin’s hand clutched in yours.

Thorin glares as the both of you continue your trek and Frerin throws his hand on Thorin’s shoulder, smirking.

“Don’t be jealous brother,” Frerin states.

Thorin shrugs his hand off before walking away.

“I am not jealous,” he calls back and Frerin smirks.

“How long before Thorin murders Gilrin?” Fili asks as he and Kili sidle up to Frerin. “I’ll give him a week,” Frerin states as they follow the rest of the Company. “Really? I give it two days,” Kili says. “One hour,” Fili adds and Frerin laughs, shaking his head at his nephews antics.

“Do you think amad will be happy to see y/n if we make it out of this?”

Frerin watches you and Gilrin as you laugh at something. Thorin was glaring at your backs.

“I think Dis would be very happy to see y/n. We all were if I’m being honest. Try imagining Fili being gone for a hundred years, you’d be excited to see him too,” Frerin states.

“But what about the way uncle treated her? She can’t be that forgiving,” Fili states.

Frerin shakes his head.

“No she is not that forgiving. I think it will be a slow build. A very slow one but hopefully, if Thorin doesn’t open his mouth, forgiveness will be there at the end of the journey maybe sooner,” Frerin explains officially ending the conversation.

* * *

“Weirdest thing you’ve seen an elf do?” you ask, liking the feeling of Gilrin’s hand in yours. He looks a bit thoughtful for a second and then his face lightens up.

“Eat meat,” he says, nodding his head at his final answer. “Elves eat meat?” you ask. “No but the one I saw did. Strangest thing ever,” Gilrin says and you laugh. You frown as you feel someone walking between the both of you, causing your hands to loosen. You narrow your eyes at the back of Thorin’s head and you hear snickers. You turn to glare at your nephew and brothers and they stop immediately, but the smile still lingers on their faces.

You shake your head and turn your attention back to the path ahead. Gilrin lets out a chuckle.

“I have a feeling that Thorin doesn’t like me,” he says. “What gave you that idea, I wonder,” you scoff. He smiles at you. You just shake your head. This was going to be an interesting journey.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stone giants, Goblins, and Azog. Also partial death

The rain pelts your face and you try to hold on to the wall of rock as it starts moving. You were definitely not prepared for this. Why oh why did you have to climb a mountain that wanted to duke it out with another mountain? **  
**

All you could do was watch as the apparent knee of the other giant crashes into the other mountain. Fili was on there and so was Bilbo and Gilrin.

“Fili!” You shout as the giant falls away with the dwarves no longer on its leg. The group that had been safe from it makes their way to the others. Thorin comes to a stop and he lets out a sigh of relief as he sees Fili pushing away rocks. You push past him and Thorin stiffens, thinking you were heading for Gilrin. He relaxes as you come to your knees in front of your nephew.

“Fili! You’re alright,” you exclaim, bringing his head to your chest, swaying back and forth. You tighten your hold as he tries to pull back. “Aunt y/n. I’m fine,” Fili says, still trying to break free of your grip. “Let me just hold you for a second. I almost lost my nephew,” you say and he slumps in your arms, opting to put his arm around your waist instead.

“Where’s Bilbo?”

That brings you back to the present. You let go of Fili and stand quickly. You see the hobbit hanging from the cliff and you climb down to help him.

“Y/n!” Thorin snaps but you ignore it, wrapping your hands around Bilbo’s coat to push him up. As Bilbo gets to safer ground, you can feel your hands slipping.

“Rin!”

The rock disappears from under you and you take a short plunge before a hand reaches out to grab you. It yanks you up and you go tumbling into Thorin, your hands clutching him as if he was your life-line. Well, technically, he is.

Thorin wraps his arms around your waist as your fear of heights finally gets to you.

You clutch onto Thorin’s lapels as you hear Bofur say, “I thought we lost our burglar.”

Thorin growls and you can feel it in his chest.

“He’s been lost ever since he left home,” he snaps before leading you into a cave. He sets you down on a rock and your legs automatically come up to your chest. You stare at the ground as Thorin comes to kneel in front of you.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Thorin says, shaking his head. “Someone needed to save Bilbo,” you argue. “You shouldn’t have risked your life for a hobbit that has no idea how to take care of himself,” Thorin snaps and you narrow your eyes at him. Thorin sighs.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t lose you. Not now,” Thorin says, placing a hand on your cheek. You lean into his touch a bit, before pulling away. “I will be fine Thorin. You won’t lose me now. I promise,” you say and he smiles at you before standing.

“Rest. We will leave here at first light,” Thorin announces. Balin looks confused. “Gandalf said to wait here.”

“We do not have time to wait for the wizard,” Thorin says before stalking off. Balin looks at you and you shrug before finding a place to rest.

* * *

By the time you fall asleep, you are suddenly awoken by the floor caving in. You scream as you are plunged down a hole. You are so glad you are the last and was not under the weight of Bombur.

The company groans, in a haze, as you hear footsteps. Hundreds of them and that did not bode well with you.

* * *

If you knew you would end up hanging from a tree while orcs and wargs tried to kill you, you would’ve told Thorin to take the long way round especially since the orcs that was trying to kill was supposed to be dead.

You look up as you feel someone stand. You turn to find Thorin and your heart sinks as you realize exactly what he’s going to do. “Rin!” You call out but he ignores you, rushing forward to attack Azog with his sword and… is that an oak branch?

You look around in confusion. Where the hell did he get that branch? Did he carry it with him from somewhere? What even?

You shake your head, cursing your short attention span. You watch as Thorin gets knocked to the ground. Both and dwalin try to stand to help him but both of your branches snap. You feel a hand grab yours and yank you up to the trunk. You smile gratefully at Gilrin and he smiles back as Bilbo stands.

The little hobbit runs and attacks the orc about to chop Thorin’s head off. That causes you, Frerin, Dwalin, Fili, Gilrin, and Kili to stand. The six of you charge at the orcs, your sword making contact with one of the wargs. You stab the orc before coming to stand in front of your brother with Bilbo right beside you.

The pale orc snarls at you before getting off of his warg. You push Bilbo back as Azog gets closer and you lunge at him. He dodges your attack and you cry out as he hits you with his mace. You quickly turn around, bringing your sword up to block his next attack. He snarls at you, face coming closer to yours.

 _“I will end you and your brothers and your little sister as well,_ ” he says in black speech, but you can’t understand and you don’t have time to understand as you let out a scream. You look down and his nonexistent hand, which was replaced by metal spikes, was through your abdomen. He tosses you aside and you look down, the amount of blood you were currently losing not a good thing. You can’t contemplate it anymore as you pass out, the blood loss finally hitting you. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet familiar faces in Mahal’s Halls and you have to make a decision

 You nod to the guards, moving to sit above the gates, overlooking the field in front of Erebor. It was such a nice day out and it was strange to you. Wasn’t Erebor taken by Smaug?

“Y/n, my beautiful child,” you hear and that causes your heart to beat loudly in your chest. You slowly turn to find your amad right behind you with the smile she always wore. You quickly jump off the wall and nearly tackle her into a hug, causing her to laugh.

It felt so nice to be in her arms once again. You have missed this so much. Tears gather in your eyes as she pulls you closer. When you pull back, she cups your face in both of her hands, e/c eyes glimmering.

“You have not aged a day,” she says causing you to scoff. “You can’t tell because I hid all the gray hairs under everything,” you reply and she laughs. You missed that laugh so much.

“Come my child, we have lots to discuss,” she says, holding out her hand. You take it, eagerly, wanting to finally feel her touch once again.

“There has been a lot going on, hasn’t there?” she asks and you laugh. “Like you wouldn’t believe. Everything changed when you died,” you explain as the both of you walk down the stone steps.

“And all it took was for you to leave your brother,” she says and you frown. You really didn’t want to talk about your past mistakes.

“Amad-,”

“No. Thorin was right to keep you from this mountain. There was no way you could save me child, no matter how hard you tried,” she says and you pull your hand away feeling ashamed.

The both of you continue your walk in a now awkward silence. You had no idea what to do. You knew your mother was disappointed in you and you hated that feeling. You don’t take time to notice your surrounding’s because if you did, you would notice that she was leading you into the throne room.

When you get there, you smile as you see your grandfather sitting on the throne. It was just like the good old days. Fundin was right by his side, his loyalty to the king unending just like the loyalty of his sons. Looking at them smiling down at you, you come to a very suddenly realization.

“I am dead, aren’t I?” you ask, smile slipping from your face. If anything Thror’s grin widens.

“No my child. You are not. Not yet at least. You are where everyone comes to choose between life or death,” Thror explains and you look around for your father.

“Where is Adad? Is he still yet alive?” you ask, hope soaring higher.

Thror frowns.

“Your father has been captured since the battle of Moria and is being held by Dol Guldur. The wizard will stray from the journey and find him there.”

You light up again.

“Then I must go with him!” you say excitedly, the prospect of finding your father making you happy. Thror’s frown deepens.

“If you decide to leave with the wizard,” your mother starts making you turn to look at her, “your brothers will no longer have it in them to forgive you no matter how much you try to make them understand. They say that third time’s the charm and it is in this case, but not for the better.”

You frown looking down at the ground. The choice was between losing your father or having Thorin and Frerin, possibly even Dis, hate you for the rest of your life. How could you make this decision? You blink as a bright white light appears behind the throne.

 _“Y/n!”_ You hear from behind you, but you do not see anyone. That causes you to look at your mother confused. She just gives you a smile.

“It is now the time to choose. Will it be life or death?” she asks and you look at the three of them, hearing the voice that suspiciously sounds like Thorin yell your name again.

You could be here, with your family. Living in Erebor with nothing to worry about. You could finally relax after your hardships, but could you really live without Thorin? You realize that you cannot.

You bring your mother into a hug and your grandfather as well.

“It is not my time,” you say and Thror smiles at you.

“Indeed, it is not. You need to watch over your brothers carefully. Something will happen and you need to be there to stop it. Also, watch over your nephews. They are just like their uncles and are really itching for a fight,” Thror says and you smile.

“Return to us on your own time. We will be waiting and choose your choices wisely,” Derias says and you nod before making your way out of the throne room and following the voice of Rin.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up and Thorin makes a decision

You groan as you finally come to. You already missed the touch of your mother, but you knew you made the right decision to stay. You move your hand and it comes into contact with another hand.

You open your eyes to find yourself on a pile of hay. You must be in a barn.

You look to your left and find Thorin sitting against the wall with his eyes closed and arms crossed. You look to your right to see whose hand you touched and Gilrin was lying next to you with his head turned to the right.

There must’ve been one hell of an argument between the both of them.

“Rin,” you say, voice raspy with disuse, but it seems that Thorin heard you because his eyes shoot open and soon he’s leaning over you to check on your wound.

His eyes flicker to the left and he looks annoyed. He punches Gilrin in the shoulder and Gilrin jumps awake.

“What was that for?” Gilrin asks grumpily. “You were supposed to be watching her in case she woke up,” Thorin grumbles and you smile at your little brother. “It’s fine Thorin. Just tell me what happened,” you say, sitting up and leaning against the door all as Gilrin leaves to fetch a cup of water.

“The Hobbit. He protected the both of us. I saw you go down and I remember him standing in front of your body before blacking out,” Thorin starts, coming to sit next to you.

“When I woke, we were on this rocky island and Gandalf had saved my life. I apologized to the hobbit for doubting him-.”

You interrupt him by scoffing. Thorin? Apologize? He had to have said something else before that.

Thorin rolls his eyes at the hidden meaning behind your scoff.

“-after I shouted at him for risking his life to save us.”

That sounds more like it. You smile in thanks as Gilrin hands you the water and takes a seat next to you.

“After apologies were exchanged I came to check on you and you were very weak. Gandalf had tried to heal you, but it didn’t do much. You had lost too much blood and you were in a state where only you could decide whether you lived or not,” Thorin mumbles and you know he’s not telling you something.

“Thorin?” You ask and he looks dead ahead.

“I. I thought I lost you. They said third times the charm and I was praying to mahal that it was not true and that I would not lose you forever,” Thorin states and you place your hand on his, squeezing gently.

“I told you this Thorin. You will never lose me ever again,” you tell them and he places his hand on yours giving it a squeeze as well.

“Where are we exactly?” You ask, looking around. Everything was at least three times your size and it was definitely intimidating. It wasn’t intimidating because everything was bigger, because dwarves liked to build grand stuff, but it was intimidating because you knew a dwarf didn’t live here meaning your host was very large. And that did not sit well with you.

“We are at a skinchangers. Beorn’s is his name and he has allowed us to stay until you are healed. We had arrived two days ago-,”

“Thorin! Durin’s day will soon be upon us. You should’ve left yesterday,” you exclaim. Time was wasting with them waiting on you and you didn’t like the idea of being left alone, but you would’ve been fine with it.

“Family means no one gets left behind, y/n. I wouldn’t leave you even if you were not expected to heal until after Durin’s day. I would wait another year if that meant I could reclaim Erebor with you by my side,” Thorin explains and that eases your nerves a little bit.

“Do you remember anything?” Thorin asks after the silence and the very vivid dream you had of your mother and grandfather pops up.

You could not go with Gandalf because it ruin your relationship and if you told Thorin he might get distracted. But if he found out that you somehow knew then he would most definitely not be pleased.

“I remember nothing. All I remember was being stabbed by Azog and thrown on the side,” you lie and Gilrin raises his brow at you. He knew you long enough to know when you were lying, but you just ignore it.

“I’m glad you are safe. Try to get some rest. The skinchanger has allowed us a few extra days to stay here and we will be here until you are well enough to travel,” Thorin explains and you nod going back to lie down.

“Uh uh. Not you,” Thorin says and you look to your right to see Gilrin getting comfortable. “Come on Thorin. Just let me have this for one night. I literally escaped death. I need someone to keep me company,” you pout.

“Then have Fili or Kili keep you company,” he retorts, standing. “Rin!” You nag and he narrows his eyes before sighing. “I hate when you use that name against me. No funny business or I’ll break your nose again,” Thorin threatens before walking off. You smile and turn on your side to face Gilrin.

“I was so worried about you,” Gilrin starts, pushing your hair out of your face, “all I could think was ‘what if I lost you right after I had just found you?’ I don’t think I could handle that.”

You smile at him, moving closer so that your foreheads touch.

“You couldn’t lose me even if you tried,” you say before the both of you close your eyes, slowly falling asleep.

Thorin shakes his head before walking to join his brother at the table. It was around noon and most of the company were lounging about outside. Frerin and Thorin had decided to stay inside in case you woke up and Gilrin had never left your side and was the one to carry you to Beorn’s.

“I’m surprised you’re letting it happen, brother,” Frerin says as Thorin sits next to him and leans against the pillar. “He makes her happy. You cannot deny that and I shall not deny her that request,” Thorin explains.

“Are you all of a sudden giving your consent for this courtship?” Frerin asks with a raised brow.

Thorin had been very adamant about keeping you both separated since Gilrin had joined the quest and it was out of character for him to leave you two alone for even a second.

“They’re not courting,” Thorin snaps and Frerin just sends him a look.

 “They aren’t and y/n has enough brains to realize that they shouldn’t be courting right now because either of them could die, as proven earlier.”

“But what if we make it out of here alive. What if they want to court and settle down?”

Thorin looks over to your sleeping form. You had a smile on your face and that made him happy.

“As long as she is happy, then I will let her do whatever she wants, but not before he gets a very thorough beat down,” Thorin explains and Frerin smiles. By the end of the journey, Fili and Kili were going to owe him so much gold coins; it was great.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You inform Gandalf about Dol Guldur and Thorin throws yet another insult.

A few days later, when you are all healed up, you are packing your things onto a pony. You felt well enough to travel and for that you were glad. You mount on of the ponies and Gilrin pulls up next to you. You smile at him.

“Alright?” he asks, hazel eyes sparkling at you. You nod at him, smiling back. You look up to find Thorin glaring at Gilrin.

He feels your gaze and looks at you. You raise your brow as if challenging him to say something and he promptly sticks his tongue out at you before turning his horse to face the other way. He was such a child that you sometimes forgot that he was 195 years old.

“Gandalf! Time is wasting!” Thorin calls and you turn around to find the wizard talking to Beorn. Gandalf nods at the skinchanger before getting onto his horse. You had a feeling that what you grandfather said will soon come true.

The company does not stop until you reach the forest. Gandalf is the first to unmount and you follow him. You watch him move some vines from a statue and he stiffens as he sees a red eye painted onto said statue.

“The high fells,” you hear him mutter, “so be it.”

He turns around, but jumps as he sees you. He clutches at his heart.

“Lady Y/n, don’t do that. I don’t know how much this heart can take,” Gandalf states, trying to gather his erratic breathing. You smile sheepishly at him.

“I’m very sorry Gandalf, but I have something very important to tell you,” you say as he starts walking past you.

“I would love to hear it, but I must get going,” he says, trying to brush you aside.

“That is what I want to talk about. I must tell you about Dol Guldur,” you say and he stops before slowly turning to you.

“How do you know of that place?”

You sigh.

“When I had gotten injured, I was in a life or death situation, literally. I had this. This vision of sorts. I had seen my grandfather and my mother along with my cousin Fundin. They gave me a choice. A choice to choose life or death, but this was after they had informed me about a new piece of information,” you explain and he looks more interested than he was before.

“Tell me what they told you for messages from the dead are not to be taken lightly,” Gandalf says.

“They had told me that you would stray from our journey and that you would end up in Dol Guldur. They had also explained that you shall run into my father there,” you say.

“Thrain lives?” he asks and you nod.

“This is good news-,”

“No Gandalf. He has been captured for many a year. He will not recognize friend from foe and for all we know he could just be there for a trap,” you say.

You really wanted to save your father but it had been years! Anything could’ve happened to him and why was Gandalf so interested in finding your father? You had a feeling that he was not telling you everything.

“Very well. Was there anything else said?”

You shake your head.

“Their wisdom only acknowledged my father. The rest you have to figure out yourself,” you say, walking back to join the others.

“Will you not be joining me?” He asks.

“No. My mother had told me what would happen if I did and I don’t think I could handle losing my brothers again,” you say and he nods.

“Not my horse! I need it!” Gandalf exclaims as you go to remove your things from your own pony. You decide to ignore Gandalf rant until he mounts his horse.

You walk up to him, reaching up to grab a hold of his robe. He looks down at you.

“Please, if you can, bring him home,” you say and he nods before turning and riding off.

“No matter what may come, stay on the path!”

And with that, you all begin your journey into the forest.

* * *

Spiders, you hated, but elves were alright. At least in your mindset. In Thorin’s, however, they were nothing but decoration which is why you were pretty sure he was not going to be any help in your current situation.

“Watch where you’re touching,” you snap as an elf grazes your bosom while searching you for weapons.

“Apologies,” he says, before continuing his search.

You look at the other elves and you see a blonde one talking to Thorin. You realize that he was the only blonde one meaning that he was the King’s son.

Soon, you are all being lead to Mirkwood like cattle.

You walk behind Thorin.

“Rin. He’s the kings son,” you mumble.

“Prince or not, he’s still just a decoration,” he says and you laugh, but it turns into a yelp as you are yanked back with a sword pressed to your throat.

It was the blonde elf again.

“How does a dwarf know Greenwood’s royal line?” He asks and he looks distrustful.

“Common sense,” you spit out. If he was going to act like an ass you were too.

He narrows his eyes and looks at Thorin and Frerin before looking back at you with a smirk.

“The line of durin. My father will be pleased,” he says before you are shoved once again to continue your journey.

* * *

While the rest of the company gets led to the dungeons, you, Thorin, and Frerin are lead to the throne room.

When you get there, Thranduil is staring down at the three of you with a smirk on his face. A smirk that you wanted to wipe off of his face.

“Who would have thought that the children of Thrain would grace my halls, together. Last I had heard, the lady had travelled to the Iron Hills,” Thranduil states, looking straight at you.

Thorin blocks his view and Thranduil makes his way down from his throne.

“You have found a way into the mountain,” he says, circling you three.

“What of it?” Thorin snaps.

“I too desire gems inside that mountain. White gems of pure starlight. I offer you my help,” Thranduil says and you narrow your eyes.

Where was the help all those years ago?

“I am listening,” Thorin says and you look at him, surprised.

Thorin? Listen to Thranduil? You yourself were pretty okay with elves, but Thorin absolutely hated them. There has to be some kind of explanation for his “listening”.

“I will let you and your company go if you return what is mine” Thranduil says as Thorin starts pacing.

“A favor for a favor?” Thorin asks and you and Frerin exchange a look.

“You have my word. One king to another.”

You look at Thorin, waiting for him to explode.

“I will not trust Thranduil the great king to honor his word may the end of all days be upon us!”

There it was.

 You really didn’t want to be here right now. You did not want to watch these two kings duke it out like children.

“Rin-,” you start, reaching out for him

“No! He turned his back on our people!”

“Thorn! If we just accept the offer then we can leave!”

“Of course you would defend him! You have a lot in common! Betraying the trust of our people like the traitor you are!” He snaps and that makes you recoil like he slapped you. His eyes widen and he looks at you.

He still saw you as a traitor, huh? It was to be expected

“Y/n-,” Thorin begs, reaching out for you, but you back away from him, turning to Thranduil.

“I would like to be escorted to my cell please. And one with someone else already in it,” you say quietly, trying to keep your bottom lip from trembling. 

Thranduil looks at you for a moment before nodding.

“Guards,” he says and soon you are being led out of the throne room and back to the dungeon.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirkwood Escapes, Confessions and Promises, Drunk Nephews, and One-On-Ones with Frerin

“Y/n? Where’s Thorin? Or Frerin?” Fili asks as you get shoved into his cell.

You were hoping to be put in Gilrin’s cell, but then you remembered that he was already with Dwalin and you highly doubted that you could fit in there with the two of them.

“Still speaking with the King. Last I heard it wasn’t going so well,” you tell him, not wanting to talk.

It hurt. You had thought that Thorin had gotten over it, but it seems that he didn’t. You knew that it was out of anger, but if Thorin hurt you every time he got angry then you did not want to be around him.

“Something went wrong didn’t it?” Fili asks.

You raise your brow at him. He shrugs.

“You and Amad do the same thing when you get your feelings hurt,” Fili says.

You should have known. Dis was your mini you in every way except for taste in clothes.

“Nothing to worry your little noggin about,” you tell him and Fili let’s out a laugh.

 “That’s exactly what she would tell me too,” he says and you smile.

“I hope we do get to reunite once this is all over. Although I’m pretty sure she hates me,” you say, staring at the wall ahead. 

“I doubt Amad will ever be able to hate you. She loves you too much for that. Of that I am sure,” Fili says and you smile at the memories.

You really wish you had seen her grow up. You wanted to turn back time and watch her finally marry her one. You wanted to help raise her children and be there for every milestone, but you couldn’t and it just breaks your heart. You really hope that she can forgive you for all your misdeeds.

About 30 minutes later, Thorin gets placed into a cell with Frerin following right behind him.

“Did he offer you a deal?” Balin asks.

‘He sure did. But thorin and his stubborn ass would never accept it,’ you think to yourself.

“He did and I told him he could go “îsh kakhfê ai’d dur-rugnul! Him and all his kin!” Thorin shouts.

You shudder in disgust. The mouth on him. Your amad wouldn’t be too pleased.

“That is it then. There goes our only hope,” Balin says and it sounds like he has given up all hope.

“Not our only hope,” Thorin replies and its then that you realize that Bilbo was missing. Oh that sneaky little hobbit. You decide to take a little nap hoping that the hobbit would be able to rescue you all.

“-and are you reckless?” you hear from the cell next to you and that pulls you from your stupor.

You blink, trying to get rid of your sleepy eyes. You move from your seat on the stone and look out of the cell to find the redhead talking to one of the dwarves. You did not know which one it was.

“Nah,” the dwarf replies and it sounds like Kili. You hear a stone drop and you see the elf catch it with her foot. You take a seat to watch this interaction. You smile as she goes on to explain the feast of starlight and you are taken back to the day you first met Gilrin.

It wasn’t in a cell, of course not, but you both ended up speaking about the stars after you had almost killed him. It was his fault for sneaking up on you like that.

You watch the elf take a seat and you had never seen an elf so interested in a dwarf before. There has to be something there. That much is obvious.

A movement from above catches your eye and you see the blonde prince glaring at the two of them, making you smirk. He was jealous of a dwarf. How funny was that?

She leaves an hour later with a large smile on her face and it was quite obvious to you that she was smitten with your nephew.

“I reckon the sun is on the rise,” Bofur calls out and you’d have to agree with that.

“We’re never going to get to the mountain are we?” Ori asks in the sweet little voice of his.

You sigh. If Thorin had just accepted the deal, you could’ve been out of here quicker, but he was stubborn as a mule and you hated it.

“Not stuck in here you’re not,” you hear and you easily recognize it as Bilbo’s. You smile, pushing yourself against the bars as he starts letting all the dwarves out.

When he lets you and Fili out, Thorin is waiting outside of your cell. You ignore him and follow Bilbo down the stairs.

You are skeptical about climbing into the barrels, but Bilbo seems to know what he’s doing so you do as he says.

Thorin reaches his hand out to help, but you slap them away.

“Don’t touch a traitor like me,” you snap.

“Y/n-,”

But you ignore him, accepting Dwalins help with getting into the barrel. Fili pushes Thorin to get into his own barrel. Soon, the lot of you are floating down the river. As you get closer to the gate, you hear a horn being blown. 

_Oh no._

The gate slams shut and you figured that this was it. You were going to be put back into the cells and left to rot.

Your eyes widen as an elf falls into the water, eyes no longer seeing. 

_Orcs._

You try your best to defend yourselves, but Bilbo was the only one with a weapon right now and it sucked. Kili gets out of his barrel.

“Kili!” you shout, but he ignores you, continuing up the steps. You look around for what he was going for, but you see a white orc notching an arrow. You immediately jump out and run over to Kili, pushing him forward and screaming as an arrow pierces your arm.

“Y/n!” you hear Thorin shout, but you ignore it.

“Get the lever Kili!” you exclaim and he nods, wide eyes finally leaving your frame. He opens the gates and one by one the barrels disappear down the river. You pull out the arrow and jump into one of the barrels with Kili following right behind you.

You decide to just duck down and let the pain consume you. Something was definitely not right. When you finally get rid of the orcs, the barrels come to a stop at a rocky island.

“Gilrin!” you call out, not feeling strong enough to get out of your barrel. Gilrin immediately comes over to you with Thorin right behind him.

“I do not need your help, Thorin,” you snap, wrapping your uninjured arm around Gilrin’s shoulders.

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Thorin says. 

“Don’t be. You were only speaking what was on your mind. The truth only comes out when you’re angry, right?” you ask bitterly as Gilrin lifts you up. He sets you on a rock as Oin bumbles over.

“Mind if I borrow a cloth lad?” Oin asks and Gilrin shakes his head before taking off his tunic and ripping off a piece of cloth. You can’t help but admire the way his muscles moved. Did he REALLY have to take it off? Oin nods in thanks and Gilrin puts his tunic back on.

 Oin starts wrapping your arm as you hear an arrow being shot. You look up to find a man standing above all of you. Kili grabs for a rock, but the rock is shot out of his hand.

“Do that again and you’re dead,” he growls.

You stand angrily and the bowman faces you with his bow drawn back.

“Do you always attack people you don’t know?” you snap.

“Only those who are trespassing.”

“Last I checked these were not your lands,” you reply, but before you can say anything else you stumble. Gilrin and Oin are there to catch you. You notice the bowman relax a little, but you don’t pay attention to it.

“Come on lass, let’s finish that wrap,” Oin says and you nod before taking a seat on the rock again.

“You’re from Laketown, I suppose. That barge over there wouldn’t be available for hire would it?” Balin asks and you sigh. You supposed that if that was your only way to cross the river than you would have to deal with it.

Partying up with the humans was not your cup of tea so you decide to turn in early.

If you had just stayed on watch instead of walking in to help with the collection of weapons, you wouldn’t have caused all that ruckus and you wouldn’t have been caught by the guards.

You should’ve just listened to Bard. He was a good man and a good host, but he did not give you what you paid for and for that, you had to find your own weapons even if that meant stealing. Which is why you were currently in the house of the master of laketown.

You didn’t really like the master. You thought the master was a disgusting excuse for a man and you knew the only reason there was a celebration going on was because the Master was a greedy little shit. Thorin promised to help rebuild Esgaroth but you knew that the master had other plans.

You take a seat on your bed and remove the wrap on your arm to look at the wound. It was festering and looked absolutely disgusting. You try to clean it as best as you could and wrap it. You felt absolutely exhausted like the life was being drained out of you.

There is a knock on the door and you stand to open it. You smile as you see Gilrin on the other side of the door. You let him in before closing the door.

“Are you alright? I saw you leave and I thought that I’d check on you,” he asks as you both take a seat in front of the fire.

“I’m fine. I just don’t feel like drinking with the humans. Especially that weasel of a Master,” you say and he laughs. “Tell me how you really feel,” he says and you wink at him.

“You and I both know exactly what is on his mind,” you say and he nods.

“But how are you? Is the wound healing alright?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I feel like I’ve been poisoned or something,” you tell him truthfully.

He comes to kneel beside you and unwraps the wrap. The wound was bleeding again and the blood looked almost black.

Gilrin stands and grabs a rag, cleaning it out again making you wince.

“Why are you so good to me?” You ask as he wraps your arm. He pauses for a second before continuing.

“Hopefully for the same reason you’re so good to me,” he says.

“Gilrin-” you start but he just sighs and stands.

“You don’t need to say it. I know It’s been years, but I was hoping I’d at least have a chance,” he says moving away but you grab his arm, standing.

“It’s not that I don’t return the feelings because I do. That is obvious to anyone in the vicinity of us, but this quest. We are so close to the mountain and with the dragon who knows if we’ll actually survive. I just. I don’t want us to promise ourselves to each other until I’m sure that we’ll both survive,” you tell him and he smiles at you, earlier apprehension gone.

“And I am more than okay with waiting. I have been for 142 years,” Gilrin says and you smile at him, but you frown as someone knocks on your door.

You let go of Gilrin’s hand and move to open the door. You find Frerin holding the collars of your very drunk nephews. Oh no.

“Auntieeeeee!” Kili shouts before nearly tackling you to the ground. Gilrin is there to catch you. You wince as Kili’s hand comes in contact with your wound.

“Frerin are you going to tell me why you’ve brought our very drunk nephews to my door?” You ask, gently pushing Kili off of you.

Kili looks at your injured arm before moving to your other side and wrapping his arm around your torso, making sure to sneak his hand under your arm. He rubs his face against yours almost like a kitten ;).

“They have been sitting outside of your door for a while and I was wondering why you had not yet asked what they were doing. It seems that you were busy,” Frerin says, eying Gilrin’s hand that was still on the small of your back. He removes it immediately and steps away from you.

You roll your eyes as Fili comes bumbling over. Of all people, you would think that he was the one to have the least amount of problems.

Fili wraps his arms around you and Kili also avoiding your injured arm.

“You’re so warm Auntie!” Fili says, snuggling into your chest which was pretty hard given the fact that he was a few inches taller than you.

“Uhm. Thank you?” You ask, looking at Frerin for help. He’s just smiling at the three of you and you hear Gilrin laugh. You find his foot with yours and step on it. He lets out a groan.

“Let’s get you two to bed, alright?” You ask and they both grunt in return. You wobble to your bed and try to peel them off of you but you come out unsuccessful.

“For Durin’s sake, Frerin, help me with your nephews or I’ll suffocate you in your sleep,” you threaten and you hear his heavy boots coming closer.

Slowly the two of you put your nephews on your bed.

“I’ll leave you both to it,” Gilrin says as you walk him to the door. He presses a kiss to your cheek, giving you a small, unsure smile before leaving. 

You watch him leave and continue to stare at the space that he no longer occupied with a smile on your face. You close the door and turn to find Fili and Kili sitting up and looking at you. Frerin was also looking at you with his arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently as if waiting for an explanation.

“What?” You ask, grabbing a chair and moving it to Kilis side of the bed.

“Is he going to take our Auntie away from us?” Kili asks with an adorable little pout on his face as he plops back down.

You brows furrow in confusion.

“Why would he do that? I would never leave you,” you say, shooting Frerin a look as he mutters, “again.”

“I don’t know. I just thought you never liked me because you always treat Fili better,” Kili says quietly and you realize, with an aching heart, that he was right.

You had noticed that Thorin had paid extra care to Kili so you wanted to make sure the Fili felt loved as well and it had backfired so much. Instead of making them both feel loved, you made Kili feel unwanted and you now hated yourself for it.

“I’m sorry, little one,” you start, brushing his hair out of his eyes, “I never meant to make you feel like that. I love and Fili both equally.”

Frerin grabs a chair and sits on Fili’s other side.

“Does that mean we get to be uncles?” Fili asks and you raise your brow.

“If I did have a child, it would be your cousin not your niece or nephew, but I’m too old for children,” you say. “Don’t say that. You’re never too old for anything,” Kili argues and you laugh.

“Trust me. I’m too old old for a child,” you say and Kili pouts. “But I want a mini me!”

“Ask your uncles maybe they will help you out,” you say and Frerin shakes his head.

“Don’t look to me. If anything you’ll be the most likely to have kids,” Frerin says and you narrow your eyes at him before turning back to Kili.

“Just rest. We have a long journey ahead,” you tell him before pulling the blankets up to cover him and kissing his forehead.

 With that both of the brothers fall asleep, snoring lightly.

“They’re both lightweights,” Frerin says and you laugh.

“They must have got it from you,” you say and he huffs.

“How would you know if I was a lightweight or not? I was only 19 when you left.”

“Trust me I just know,” you tell him and he sighs.

“Gilrin?”

“Gilrin,” you confirm, laughing.

He just smiles, watching Fili and Kili sleep.

“The quest has just gotten ten times more dangerous, y/n,” Frerin says, looking at you.

“I know. I know. I have already discussed this with Gilrin and we aren’t going to do anything about… Us until the quest is complete,” you tell him.

You look at him and he looks doubtful.

“I’m guessing Thorin isn’t the only one that has a problem with Gilrin and I courting?” you ask and he looks at you.

“I just want you to be happy, you know? I want you to have that life you had before Smaug took our home away. I see that, when you’re with Gilrin, and I can’t help but think: what if something happens to him? The light will disappear again and it won’t be back,” Frerin replies and you smile at your little brother.

“I worry about that too. Everyday, but I think that if something does happen to him, I will have you and Thorin and Fili and Kili to help me through it,” you reply and he smiles at you before standing.

“And that we will. Fili and Kili’s room are right next door. Get some rest. Like you said, we have a long day ahead of us,” he says, before kissing your temple and leaving.

The next morning, with sober, but very hung over nephews, you head to the docks where a boat with provisions was waiting. You walk past the people and look at their greedy faces. That thought causes you to pause. Where had that come from? You look at the mountain and you knew it was coming from there 

You move to get on the boat, but a hand stops you. You look up to find Thorin.

“What do you want Thorin?” You snap.

You had not listened to him during the twenty times that he had stopped you. You didn’t want to listen to the lies that he was spouting. Not anymore.

“You will stay here,” he says and you can’t help but laugh. Staying here? After all that you’ve been through? Yeah right.

“Very funny Thorin,” you say, moving to push past him, but his grip only tightens. You look up at him, confused. “You are unwell. Join us when you are better,” Thorin says before turning his back on you.

“You promised me this Thorin!” You exclaim making him turn around.

“You promised me that we would reclaim our home together!”

You were so angry. You wanted to bash his thick skull into a wall. How dare he take this away from you, the eldest? How dare he!

“That I did, but you are no help if you are weak,” Thorin replies and it’s then that you realize that something is off. Something within Thorin has changed and you realize it had started when he first caught sight of the mountain. You did not like it one bit.

“How could I forget? You would never want a traitor in your midst,” you tell him as a wave of nausea hits you. You sit down on a crate and Fili and Kili come off of the boat with Gilrin and Frerin following right behind.

“Fili, Kili, Frerin! Get back on this boat. We must leave now,” Thorin exclaims. He knew he would never be able to get Gilrin to leave you so he decided to just let it be.

“We belong with our sister Thorin! Not going to some mountain! If I remember correctly, you were the one that said that you would wait a whole year if that meant y/n would be by your side when we reclaimed the mountain! How dare you turn your back!” Frerin exclaims and you reach out for him.

Frerin looks at you, anger subsiding. He wipes away the sweat that has begun to coat your body.

“Go with him, Frerin. Something is not right with his mind. You must help him. You too Fili and Kili,” You say looking at your two nephews.

“No, aunty, I’m not leaving you here,” Fili exclaims.

“I will go with Uncle to make sure he is alright,” Kili says and Fili looks at him before nodding. You say your goodbyes to your brother and Kili and Oin comes off the boat as they get on.

“My duties lie with the sick,” Oin tells you and you smile at him feeling fainter than before.

“It must be the wound I received. It must’ve had some type of poison,” you mumble, tilting to your left as the boat starts leaving. Gilrin catches you easily as you see Bofur fighting his way through the crowd.

“Missed the boat too?” He asks before you promptly faint.

When you wake, you are being carried to the masters. “No! He is a vile man and the last person I want to talk to. Please take me to Bard’s,” you say and Gilrin and Fili stop to exchange looks before changing the paths to go Bard’s.

Bofur knocks on the door and you know that Bard isn’t pleased to see you. You wouldn’t be either after last night’s events.

“No. I am not dealing with anymore dwarves,” Bard shouts shoving the door closed, but Bofur stops him. “Please, y/n is very sick,” he says and you are immediately let into his home.

Gilrin and Fili place you on the windowsill and you let out a scream as your wound bumps into something. The pain was unbearable, but you did not regret taking the hit for Kili. He didn’t need to suffer.

You can just feel your body getting weaker and you decide to drift off for a bit. A bit turns into a few hours as you’re woken up by orcs crashing through the ceiling. You do your best to protect the humans once you realize that their father and Bofur was gone.

Luckily, the elves drop in right on time. Literally.  They easily dispose of the orcs and Legolas leaves as you let out another scream and lean on Gilrin for support. Tauriel, the elf that had flirted with your nephew, stops to look at you. You hear Legolas call out for her and she moves to leave.

“Please,” Fili begs and she stops, “if you walk out that door, you are letting one of the women that Kili has come to love die. Please save our Aunt.” You don’t have it in you to look at her and you just clutch onto Gilrin as you feel yourself getting weaker and weaker. “Who would’ve thought that I would die by poison?” you ask weakly. “Don’t speak like that. You will make it out of here,” he says and suddenly, the elf was giving orders.

Fili and Gilrin lay you on a table as you start thrashing. Everyone tries their best to hold you down as the elf begins her healing process. You accept the rag that is given to bite down on and you scream in pain. You hear Tauriel speaking elvish and slowly the pain starts to leave your body.

Soon, she is wrapping your arm and you look at Gilrin who has yet to leave your side.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” Gilrin says, clutching your hand to his. You laugh, rubbing your thumb along his hand.

“I have been on the brink of death twice. I am pretty sure I am invincible,” you joke and Gilrin gives you a watery smile.

“I hope you are because as soon as this is over, I plan on putting a courting bead in your hair,” he says and you smile fondly up at him.

“I’ll be waiting for it,” you say and he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Rest,” Tauriel states, “you’ll need it.”

You turn to look at her.

“Thank you. For saving my life,” you tell her and she smiles at you.

“You are very welcome,” she says before moving to put some of the ingredients away, but you see her hesitate.

She turns back to you with a perplexed look on her face.

“What is love supposed to feel like?” she asks and you have to admit that that has to be the most random question in the history of random questions.

Didn’t she just tell you to rest?

“It sometimes hurts. Especially when you think that the love is not returned,” you start and you feel Gilrin squeeze your hand.

You look at him with a smile on your face before turning back to face her.

“But that’s what is supposed to happen. Love is going to hurt until you find the right one and once you do, you just have this feeling of joy. You want that person to be happy and them being happy makes you happy. That’s what love is,” you tell her and she smiles at you before turning and finishing her duties.

“I have not known Kili for a long time,” you start and she stops to look at you, “I’ve only met him a few months ago, but it’s obvious from the moment I saw you two talking outside of his cell that he is in love with you and you, him and you should take the opportunity to let him know. We are in danger, Tauriel, and it would be better that you tell him before either of you die.”

“But the King-,”

“My little brother will have to worry about me ringing his neck than Kili loving an elf. If he does give you a hard time, I will take care of it,” you say and she smiles, but it turns into a frown as people outside start screaming, “Dragon!”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make your way to the mountain.

The nine of you make your way out of the house and you realize that Bard’s boat was not big enough for all of you.

You look around and you find a slightly bigger one and the nine of you immediately get on.

Halfway through, you lose Bain, but seeing his father on the bell tower gives you hope.

“Are we going to die?” Tilda asks, holding onto your arm with tears clouding her eyes.

“Of course not baby doll,” you say, gently running your hand against her hair, “This lovely elf here is going to save us all and we will reunite you with your father.”

You make eye contact with Tauriel and she nods at you.

You don’t reach shore to the morning. The dragon had been shot down by what you assume to be Bard.

You slide off of the boat wanting to talk to Tauriel.

“Auntie!” Fili calls but you ignore him.

You tug on Tauriel’s sleeves and she looks down at you.

“Thank you, elf friend, for saving us. Kili would be happy to know that you saved his aunt twice,” you say and she looks away from you with a blush on her cheeks, “He loves you, Tauriel and Thranduil will soon rage war upon the dwarves in the mountain. Whether or not we will survive is unknown. It would be wise for you to make your peace before something happens.”

You narrow your eyes as you see the blonde dwarf standing behind her.

He is going to be such a cockblock.

“Remember my words Tauriel for I do not often give out advice.”

With that, you turn and make your way back to the boat. It was going to be a long journey ahead and Thorin was going to get an earful.

-

It takes you a few hours, but once you are in eyesight of the gates, you let out sob.

There it is.

Your home that you haven’t see in over a hundred years.

You missed it SO much.

All the memories come flowing in one by one. Hide and seek in the halls. Pranking foreign dignitaries. You remembered everything and you rub at your chest. It hurt so much.

You spot a gaping hole in the front gates and you continue your trek, wanting to check on the others.

“Do you think they survived?” Fili asks.

“They better if not I’m going to kill them myself,” you grumble, earning a chuckle despite the situation.

As you enter the halls, you try not cry.

You remembered this stone. These halls. You remember it better than anyone else and it felt so nice to be home.

“Bifur! Bombur!” Bofur calls out.

That brings you out of your stupor and you start calling for the other dwarves, hoping that they are all still alive.

It takes you a while, but you finally find Bilbo and you were happy but the hobbit didn’t seem to be that happy.

“You must leave. Thorin, he’s sick. He’s been down there for days,” Bilbo exclaims trying to block you all from going any further. Fili looks past him but you look at Bilbo, realizing the current situation.

“Fili, no,” Bilbo calls as Fili walks past him.

“Bilbo. Has he left the treasury at all?” You ask as the others start to follow.

“How did you know it was the treasury?” Bilbo asks.

You ignore him, opting to inquire about your brother instead.

“Frerin. Did he seem to be in a similar state?” You ask again, joining the others.

“He didn’t but– are you suggesting that this is a hereditary thing?!” He exclaims.

“We will find out soon enough,” you say heading down towards the treasury.

You stand behind Gilrin, looking around at all the gold that was just scattered about. You feel a pull towards it, but you bat away the feeling. This gold was nothing but cursed. Beautifully cursed.

A gem comes flying at Fili and it’s then that you realize that Thorin had finally made an appearance. You relax a little as you realize he is relatively unscathed. He looked sick, however. Sick in the mind and he reminded you of your grandfather. That was not good at all.

“Welcome, my sister’s son, to Erebor!” Thorin exclaims, spreading his arms as if presenting the treasury to be the entire Erebor itself.

Maybe this is what your grandfather was trying to warn you about?

“Where is everyone else?” you ask, ignoring Thorin’s eyes as they land on you.

-

You smile happily, pulling Kili into a hug.

“You are alive. You all made it,” you tell him, opening your arms for Fili and Frerin to join you.

You stand there just basking in the warmth of your family. You wished Thorin and Dis were here as well, but that was not possible at the moment.

“How did you heal so quickly?” Kili asks, pulling away from you to look at your injury.

“That lady elf of yours,” you say, patting his cheek lightly as he blushes, “she is definitely a keeper.”

Kili rests his large hands on yours and smiles sadly.

“‘Tis only a dream, y/n. She is an elf and I am a dwarf. We are certainly not meant to be,” he tells you and you shake your head vigorously.

“Do not give up on love, my dearest nephew.”

He just smiles at you before his eye catches something behind you. You turn around and you find Thorin.

Ignoring what happened in Mirkwood, you immediately pull him into a hug. His arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you closer to him.

“I am happy that you are alive, Rin. So happy,” you tell him.

“And I you, y/n. I am truly sorry for bringing up the past.”

“It does not matter, Rin. What matters is that we are finally home,” you tell him, pulling back and smoothing out his hair. He sends you a smile, reaching for his beads.

“I was expecting to see a different set of beads in her hair. Courting beads in fact,” he says, leaning over to look at Gilrin.

“I’m sorry that saving her life and running from a rampaging dragon was more important,” Gilrin huffs and you shake your head as Thorin puts your braid down.

“It matters not. You can make your courting beads here and put them where they belong,” Thorin says before backing away from you.

Now that you actually got to talking to him and not just watching him you realize that maybe, just maybe, Lord Elrond and your grandfather was wrong. Maybe he did not have the dragon sickness.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin starts worrying you and so does Frerin

Your hopes are immediately smashed as Thorin forces all of you to find the cursed Arkenstone. The only ones allowed to rest was Bilbo, Balin, and you, but because everyone else was working, you decided to help. You were not about to let them suffer this alone. Everyone had suffered enough.

Looking up from digging through the gold, you see Bilbo walking away. He had been acting strangely. It was as if he was hiding something. It made you wonder if he actually found the arkenstone like he was instructed to do. If he did, then you were glad. Thorin did not need that arkenstone.

Shifting through the gold, you make your way back to the staircase, wanting to talk to the hobbit.

On your way up, you pass Thorin on a landing.

Giving him a small smile, you turn to walk up the other staircase.

“Am I doing this right?”

You stop and turn towards your little brother, but he was just watching everyone else.

“What do you mean?”

“Am I making the right decision?”

You sigh, taking a stand next to him.

“It is questionable right now. What you’re doing. Thorin it’s been weeks since we’ve started searching for the arkenstone. They are going to start questioning your sanity. I am starting to question your sanity,” you tell him honestly and that makes him turn to you, finally.

He gives you a questioning look before turning to look at the dwarves below.

“Rest. You all deserve it,” he calls out before offering you his arm.

You take it immediately and he leads you out of the treasury and to the throne room. You look around and remember. Remember all of the meetings you attended with your father. Hiding behind the throne. All of it. You brush it aside, however, as Thorin takes a seat on the throne. He never looked more like your grandfather than he did now.

You hear footsteps and you turn to find Frerin walking in. You give him a small smile before turning back to Thorin.

“This is how it should be,” Thorin says,”the line of Durin in their rightful spots.”

You shake your head, remembering your little sister.

“Have you sent word to Dis?”

Thorin nods.

“She will be arriving in four months time. She is happy to know that you are alive and well and she told me to tell you to expect an earful.”

That makes you smile. As long as Dis was happy to see you, you were fine with whatever she dished out.

“Is there a reason you stopped us from searching for the arkenstone?” Frerin asks.

“It is not as important as finding a way to better my rule is.”

“But people won’t recognize you as their ruler unless you have the arkenstone!”

You really wanted to hit Frerin right now. Thorin was in such a good place and you were going to be so mad if he fell back into his pit of despair.

Your brows rise as Thorin frown.

“I have regained our kingdom. That should be enough for our people.”

“But it isn’t! The arkenstone is something that we need to find, Thorin! We need that jewel to show that this wealth is ours.”

Oh no.

It was Frerin who fell to the dragon sickness. Not Thorin.

“Easy there brother. We will do that once the others have arrived. For now, we will clean up as much as we can and prepare this place for the rest of our people,” Thorin states and Frerin immediately storms off causing Thorin to frown.

He looks at you, uncertainty shining brightly in his eyes.

“Do not think about it too much, Thorin. Frerin will come around,” you say.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Then I will knock some sense into him. Do not worry so much. We have other things to worry about,” you say as Balin joins you.

“And what is that?”

“Giving Dale what was promised to them,” you say and immediately, he frowns.

“It was only promised to them because it was either that or be locked up in cells.”

“We destroyed their homes Thorin! One of which I was in! If it wasn’t for Bard, I would’ve been dead long before the dragon even reached Laketown,” you try and Thorin slumps in his throne.

“I will speak to Bard, but not that slimy master. It will be a conversation from one king to another,” Thorin says and you let out a sigh of relief, glad he was getting his sense knocked back into him. “Last I checked, the master was running away with the city’s bank so you will not be seeing him for a long while.”

Thorin lets out a growl.

“I knew there was something wrong about him. I will speak to Bard when the time comes.”

“It seems that the moment has come. People are streaming into Dale,” Balin says and Thorin stands.

“Come. We will speak to the king together,” Thorin states before walking out.

“It seems that the madness has slowly begun to edge away,” Balin says quietly. “But it made its way into Frerin,” you whisper back, “what if it switches on to me?”

Balin gives your hand a squeeze.

“It will not. Of that I am certain,” he says and you smile at him.

You, Thorin, and Balin walk to the gate.

It looks about midday which gives you perfect time to walk to Dale and figure things out.

The three of you do just that and as you enter Dale, you are greeted by Bard and, who you remember to be, Percy.

“I see that you have all made it out alive,” Bard says and Thorin nods.

“I am sorry for being the cause of all your grievances.”

“Please. Follow me and we shall discuss what was owed,” Bard says and Thorin nods.

You prayed to mahal that this will end well.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negotiations are made, but will they hold?

The five of you make your way to the central square, the main hall being something that you remembered clearly. Your grandfather always took you to business meetings to better understand the running of a kingdom. You honestly did not see the point given the fact that you were never going to have a chance to rule, but he still insisted and you learned a great deal  from him.

Walking into the main hall, you find a dark room. With your memory, you shift about, opening doors and windows that were previously used to let light in. It may have been 171 years, but you remembered everything.

“I am going to hazard a guess and say you’ve been here before,” Bard says as you all take a seat on the dust covered chairs. “Y/n. Eldest child of Thrain, son of Thror,” you introduce. At his house, you kept your identity a secret, making sure that all of the dwarves called you by your nickname. You did not think that men would take kindly to having royalty in their presence, especially royalty that destroyed their homes once before.

“Ah. Yes. I have seen your name on the tapestry. Although, I did not think it was you,” Bard says.

“Enough of the small talk,” Thorin interrupts, gaining both of your attentions, “winter is here and we must discuss how we will get food supply to Dale and Erebor. We are down to our last food stock.”

“The only way we could get food is if we ask the elven king for help-.”

“I will not go to that vermin for help! He did not help us when Smaug first came, what makes you think he would help us now?” Thorin snaps.

“The only other option I see is going to Lothlorien for aid, but that is the same as starving. Thranduil is our only option.”

“You speak as if the Iron Hill is not right next to our kingdoms!”

“And you speak as if dwarves would help us.”

“That is enough!” You interrupt, wanting to get the both of them to calm down. They did not need to fight right now. Especially now.

“We have come here to discuss payment of what was owed. How you decide to spend your coin and who you decide to ask for aide is up to you. We only came to decide on what was promised,” you inform him.

“Spoken like a true queen,” Bard says, giving you a slight nod.

“It is in my blood. Now onto payment.”

It takes you a few hours, but you finally come to an agreement. A very fair agreement.

Heading back to Erebor, you realize that the entrance was now being barricaded. It wasn’t too high up yet and you had a little space to walk in.

“What is this madness?” You roar as you all enter.

“War is coming sister and we need to protect this treasure hoard from the other kingdoms!” Frerin exclaims as the others start putting more rock to build up a blockade.

“What war? There is no war coming. You will be the one to start the war!”

“That elf king wants gems located within these mountains and yet he did not helps us escape from the dragon. He turned his back on our people! He locked us up in his prison! I will end him and avenge our people!”

“If he had marched upon Erebor, dozens of his people would have died-!”

“Do you ever think about why father always loved us more?” He interrupts, turning to fully look at you, “it is because you are weak. You are a simpleton who always gives in to the cry of others and you were nothing to him!” Frerin exclaims and you scoff.

“You think that is supposed to hurt me? That your words will break me? They mean nothing. I have been insulted behind my back and in front of my face many times before little brother do not think that I cannot handle it.”

You step closer but a hand stops you. Thorin’s hand. He shakes his head at you and you look at him in shock.

“Do not let this happen Thorin. Please,” you beg, looking into his blue eyes but all you see is a familiar look you saw the day you walked into Erebor.

“Continue barricading the door.”

The sickness was back and this time, it is here to stay.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little talks with Balin and Bilbo and an unexpected twist.

To see the sickness return to Thorin was absolutely devastating. It broke your heart to see him fight something off so bad only for him to succumb to it. To see the both of them like this broke you and you knew that you could no longer stop it.

You sit away from the company, watching as they built up the wall. You didn’t feel like helping. It was like everything was drained from you as soon as you saw that look in Thorin’s eyes.

You catch Balin’s eye and he nods towards the armory.

Following him, you notice that Bilbo was absent as well.

“I tried so hard, Balin,” you tell him, the feeling of failure resting on your heart. “I know you did all that you could but it is in Mahal’s hands now,” he says, resting a hand on your shoulder.

“I am afraid, Balin,” you tell him truthfully after a few moments of silence. “Afraid of what my dear?”

“I am afraid of the fact that I will fall to the same fate. Thorin had it and he broke it but now it’s back. It also claimed Frerin too. What if it claims me as well?” You ask brokenly and Balin pulls you into a hug.

“If your brothers are anything to go by then you would’ve fell to the sickness already, but you did not. You stayed true to yourself and you have to until this passes over. How long it will be, I do not know, but if the king cannot run the kingdom then it needs its queen.”

You shake your head at the title and pull away from him.

“I am no queen, Balin.”

“That is not what Thorin thinks. He has been telling me that you two will rule side by side just like he planned to all those years ago.”

“That’s not how ruling works. The queen is the wife of the king not his sister,” you reply.

“Not if Thorin has his way. You know he is the least likely to get married and he will want you by his side.”

You sigh at Balin’s stubbornness. He was so much like his father that it was ridiculous.

“We will see. My brothers are egging for a war and by the looks of it, we will have it and if it is 15 dwarves and a hobbit versus hundreds of elves and men then we will not make it,” you tell him.

You both hear a throat being cleared and you spy Bilbo standing at the doorway.

“Come in Bilbo. We were just despairing at the fact that we might just die,” you say and he gives you small smile before walking in, looking behind him as if he was being watched or something.

“I- uhm. Yes, well,” he stutters.

Bilbo looked absolutely nervous. Like he was hiding something. Then you remember what you were supposed to ask him earlier that morning.

“You have it don’t you?” you whisper and Bilbo’s eyes go wide with fear.

“Do not fret Bilbo I have known for a while. I think we both have,” you say, looking at Balin.

He nods in confirmation.

Bilbo lets out a sigh of relief and takes a seat next to you.

“Do you think giving it to him will help?”

You shake your head, watching as you see shadows dancing across the room.

“He was fine Bilbo. He was completely fine and it came back. Nothing will stop this now. It is safer for you to keep the arkenstone hidden until it is absolutely necessary.”

“Y/n!” you hear and you sigh, standing.

“Do not speak of this to anyone Bilbo. Dwarves are a very loyal bunch,” you say before retreating to the voice that called you.

Leaving the armory, you come face to face with Gilrin. You hadn’t really had time to talk to him about everything that had been going on. You look around and the wall was completely built and done and the others were currently dispersing.

Taking Gilrin’s offered arm, you take a walk around Erebor.

“I had never dreamed to be here. Hearing all your stories, I did not think that I would be walking in the same halls,” Gilrin says as he takes a look around.

“It is not nearly as grand now that its covered with dragon dung,” you say, nonchalantly and he lets out a laugh making you smile.

Taking a seat on a bench, Gilrin intertwines his fingers with yours. Something that you thoroughly enjoyed.

“You know. It’s been nearly a month since Thorin basically gave us his blessing,” he starts and that causes you to frown.

“Gilrin. Now is not the time.”

“Then when is it going to be the time? It seems like never, to me. We’ve been in love with each other for years and we’ve known for a few months and yet nothing has ever happened. Do you really want this?” Gilrin asks.

His words begin to break your heart. The way it was sounding, it wasn’t going to end well.

“I do. I honestly really do, but the quest isn’t over. Thorin-,”

“The quest was over as soon as we reclaimed the mountain and yet it as if I never confessed to that fact that i was in love with you. You continue to worry over Thorin and you never think about your happiness for once,” he says, taking his hands out of yours and standing.

“Please-,” you beg, reaching out for his hand but he reels back.

“I can’t do this anymore. Everyday, I wait for you to come speak to me about us and everyday I am left waiting. I can’t go through the pain of wondering. The pain of knowing that I will NEVER come first in your life. I’m sorry,” he says and with that, he walks away.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to your old room finally breaks you and Thorin’s Dragon sickness is showing.

After Gilrin’s parting words, all you could do was wander around aimlessly. No tears were shed even as your heart was ripped into a million pieces. You couldn’t have Thorin questioning you and murdering Gilrin. You just couldn’t which is why you were currently on a walk to visit your old chambers.

You come to a pause in front of the door. It still looked the same as ever just dustier. Pushing the door open, you hear dust falling to the ground and you cover your mouth making sure the particles won’t fall in.

As soon as the air clears up, you step in, tears clouding your eyes yet again. It was exactly as you had left it. Everything was in the exact place including drawings of your family done by the role scribe.

Picking up the parchment, you blow off the dust and look at the picture of you and Thorin. You and Thorin were both smiling and looking directly at the scribe. He was still shorter than you at the time so your chin was resting in his head while your arms were wrapped around his neck. You were both so young then.

Picking up another picture, you finally let the tears fall as you realize it was your last ever family portrait. You were all so happy back then and you absolutely missed it.

You put the picture down and lean on your hands, letting out a sob as the tears start streaming freely. Why did everything bad happen to your family? What did you do to deserve this?!

You hated mahal for everything he put you and your family through and continue to put you through.

You feel a hand rest on your shoulders and immediately feeling his ring, you turn around and wrap your arm around Thorin’s waist. His comfort has you crying harder.

You could feel him running his hands through your hair and hear him singing an old lullaby. Something that your father always sang to calm you down.

You don’t know how much time has pass before you are finally calmed down. It had to be a while, but Thorin wasn’t complaining.

As you pull away, you look down in shame. You were the ones that were supposed to care of your siblings. Not the other way around. Maybe Frerin was right. Maybe you were weak.

Thorin’s face enters your vision.

“What is wrong?”

“Look at me, Thorin. I’m a mess. I can barely hold myself together and when I do, my resolve breaks within ten minutes. Maybe Frerin was right. Maybe I am weak,” you tell him truthfully.

He clasps your hands in his and you finally realize that the old Thorin was back again.

“You are anything but. You are strong physically, emotionally, and mentally. You are thoughtful and firm in every decision you make and you are someone I look up to you every single day and I have done so for the past 195 years,” he says and you shake your head.

“I am not someone to look up to. I left my family.”

“For good reason.”

“No, Thorin! I left you to handle things when it should’ve fell on my shoulders. If I were there then maybe you wouldn’t have had to carry such a great burden.”

“And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Stop blaming yourself for everything. If anyone is to blame it is Smaug and he is long dead. Forgive yourself because that is the only way you are only going to relax,” he explains and you sigh again, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“I’ll try.”

Thorin gives you a smile.

“And that is all that I could ever ask for.”

You give him back a watery smile but then you realize he must be here for something.

“Did you want to talk to me about something?”

Thorin looks confused for a second before he stands and leans against your desk.

“Gilrin suggested that I check on you,” he responds and you go rigid.

“Did he?”

“He did. I was kind of hoping that this was a surprise to show me that you guys are officially courting,” he says, laughing. His laughter dies on his lips as he notices your frown.

“Did something happen?”

“It seems as if I was not meant to be happy, Thorin.”

“What do you-,”

“He got tired of waiting,” you say staring at the floor below you, “tired of me pushing him away. Tired of always being last. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone as much as him and I don’t think I ever will.”

“There is always time-.”

That makes you scoff.

“I’m 205 Thorin. I’m out of time.”

“I’ll speak to him.”

“You will not Thorin. He made his decision and I will accept it. I mean I’ve got you guys right?” You ask and he gives you a small smile before standing.

“Get some rest. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day tomorrow,” he says kissing your forehead before leaving.

You sigh and stand, making yourself at home on the floor, probably the most clean place in the room. You get to bed.

-

Waking up, you immediately dress, grabbing your borrowed weapon and making your way towards the gates where the entire company seemed to be standing. Walking behind Thorin, you look at what he was glaring at.

There below you was Thranduil walking with Bard to the front gates. What caught your eye however was the army behind him. It was way too early for this shit.

“When did they gain an army?” You asks wondering when the hell this all happened.

“Bard came by and I refused him his gold and declared war. That is why I came to see you last night,” Thorin growls out still glaring at those below.

“We have come to tell you that payment of your debt has been offered and accepted,” Thranduil exclaims and immediately you look for Bilbo. Not finding him, you look around and you find a rope. Maybe he had given the arkenstone to them and escaped?

“Payment? We gave you no payment,” Frerin exclaims and Bard reaches into his pocket, bringing out the arkenstone. The cursed gem.

Bilbo did it. He actually did it.

“Thieves!” Kili shouts, “how came you by that stone! It is the kings jewel!”

“And the king may have it back,” Bard says, tossing it into the air, “if he gives us what was owed.”

Looking at Thorin, you notice that he looks afraid. Afraid that they actually have the stone.

“They’re taking us for fools. It is a ruse. The stone is here in this mountain!”

“No. No it’s not. I gave it to them,” Bilbo exclaims and you sigh, closing your eyes. He should have left while he had the chance.

Thorin turns to Bilbo in shock and your hand rests on your sword.

“I took it as my 1/14th share of the treasure.”

Thorin looks absolutely betrayed and you hadn’t seen that look on his face since the day you left. It broke your heart.

“I’ll have it stand against my claim.”

“You have no claim over this mountain, you miserable rat!”

That makes you clench your sword tighter.

“I was going to give it to you. I was but-.”

“But what?”

“You are changed Thorin Oakenshield. The dwarf I met in Bag End would never have gone back on his word. Would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin.”

“Do not speak to me of loyalty,” Thorin growls and he looks around before shouting, “throw him from the ramparts.”

Everyone immediately backs away and Thorin look around as no one makes a move to follow his orders.

He reaches for Fili but you lift your foot, pushing on his chest to push him back.

“Do not touch my nephew,” you growl out as he straightens.

“Your nephew?” Frerin states, pushing through the dwarves, “you gave up your rights to being family as soon as you turned your back on us.”

You ignore him and lead Bilbo over to the rope where he quickly jumps down.

“You are a traitor just like that shire rat,” Thorin rumbles, gripping your collar and holding your throat, against the stone, “did you ever think why father never visited you? It wasn’t because he couldn’t. It was because he didn’t want to. None of us wanted to. Our life was nice without you. It has always been me, Frerin, and Dis and it always will be us. You will never be welcomed back into our family.”

“Why don’t you just fucking do it Thorin?!” You growl.

“You don’t love me. It shouldn’t be hard to end my life. Just fucking do it. You already let mother die so you might as well finish what you started.”

You try to look for some of the old Thorin but you cannot find it.

“Do it Thorin! I would like nothing more!” You spit out and he growls, throwing you to the ground.

Fili and Kili help you up and they push you towards the rope.

Never in a million years would you have thought that you would run away from your home but here you were again. On the run.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war begins.

Sliding down the rope, you ignore Thorin’s rambling and you hop across the statues.

“Are you alright?”

“I am not fucking alright. I am in the middle of a war with a king who wants a necklace, a king who wants money, and a king who does not want to share. You call yourselves men? You are nothing but children,” you snap at Bard, tolerance absolutely gone.

You try to make your past the elves but they won’t budge. You glare up at them.

“Move or I’ll slit your throat in your sleep,” and that causes them to move. You hear a rumbling noise and suddenly you see a pig on a hill to the east. Not just any pig. But Dain’s war pig.

You follow the movement of elves, Bilbo joining you in your stride.

“Who is that?”

“He’s my cousin,” you say, pushing through the front lines.

“Cousin!” Dain exclaim, dismounting and taking off his helmet.

You smile at him, bringing him in for a head butt. His hand reaches for your throat and you flinch away at the pain.

“What happened?” He growls and you look at the gate before turning back to him.

“Thorin is what happened. He is mad. Just like my grandfather. So is Frerin and I wish the never be in their presence again,” you ground out.

“You can’t be serious. You just got home. You helped reclaim what was stolen from our people,” Dain whispers, sorrow lacing his voice.

“It is not home any longer. Not to me,” you say.

“Y/n. Lord Dain,” you both hear and you turn to face Gandalf.

“Gandalf the Grey! Why don’t you tell these pointy eared tree shaggers to sod off!” Dain exclaims, moving to stand next to you.

You elbow him and you wince, your mind forgetting that he was wearing armor. He lets out a little oomph and looks down at you. You just glare up at him, rubbing your elbow in the process.

“You kiss your amad with that mouth?”

Dain snorts.

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“Dain. Please. You must listen to me. Do not declare war. We have other more important things to worry about.”

It’s then that you remembered where he had been off to.

“Did you find him?”

Gandalf sighs but nods.

“He did not make it,” he says and you nod, the pain in your heart overwhelming.

“Find whom exactly?”

“Another time perhaps. What comes this way Gandalf?”

“Azog and an army of Orcs. Thranduil and Bard did not believe me. I am hoping that another lord will,” Gandalf says giving Dain a hopeful look.

“How do I know you’re not just trying to stall time?”

“Stall time for what, exactly? Since when has the words of a wizard been doubted? It seems you need to go back to your history books.”

Dain moves to say something but you grasp his arm, shaking your head.

“Dain meant no disrespect, Gandalf,” you say and Gandalf narrows his eyes at Dain before scoffing.

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

Dain’s reply is cut short as the ground starts shaking. You look at Gandalf for answers, but he’s looking at the mountains.

“Gandalf.”

“Wereworms,” is his only response before creatures start bursting through the earth.

They were somewhat like colossal rainworms with a rock-like skin and massive jaws, crushing everything in their path.

It seems to you that the war has just begun.

-

Due to the lack of fights that you have had since Mirkwood, you seem to tire easily which was not good in a fucking war.

Fighting back to back with Dain was the only option you had at the moment and you were all poorly outnumbered. Bard had fallen back and so did the elves.

“To the mountain!” Dain calls and you immediately form a line in front of the gates. There was no peep from Thorin, that coward.

“I think this is finally it,” you tell Dain as you watch the orcs walk closer and closer. You were surely going to die.

“I think it is cousin. It has been an honour,” he says, tightening his grip on his weapon.

You jump in shock as you hear a horn being blasted behind you. Looking up at the gates, you find Bombur blowing a horn and that gave you renewed hope.

A minute later, the front gates of Erebor are being knocked down to the ground and Thorin is leading the 15 dwarves into battle, looking like the king he was always meant to be.

Finding a renewed strength, you start running as well with Frerin and Thorin by your side.

“To the line of Durin!” Dain calls and with that, the dwarves are fighting yet again.

-

Thorin, Kili, Fili, Dwalin, and Frerin are nowhere to be found as you continue fighting. You swear you had seen them making their way up to Ravenhill, but that was hours ago.

Walking backwards, you bump into a body and immediately turn on them, sword ready to slit their throat.

You and Gilrin both let out a sigh of relief as you realize that it was no threat, but both of your eyes widen and you both take a sudden lunge, both of your swords impaling themselves into an orc that was behind the other.

“I should have just listened to you instead of putting my foot in my mouth,” Gilrin states as you both start fighting off orcs.

“Do you really think now is the time again?” you ask irritably, but the only response you get is a gasp.

Turning around, your heart stops at the sight before you.

Girlin was standing with a sword through his chest.

It was like everything was going in slow motion as he falls to his knees, sword being unsheathed in the process.

Beheading the orc, you fail to notice that the others were retreating and that eagles were circling around the battlefield.

Tears spring in your eyes as you make eye contact with Gilrin. There was so much pain in him and you could feel it seeping into you as well.

“Hey. Hey you’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine,” you say, grasping his hand in yours and he gives you a small smile, blood coating his teeth as he lets out a cough.

“Stop lying to yourself,” he coughs out.

“No! No! We’re going to court and we’re going to get married and have kids, that is final,” you beg, silent tears falling down your face.

“I would like nothing more to be married to you, amralime. I’m sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. I hope that you will forgive me one day,” Gilrin states before closing his eyes, breathing coming to a stop. And with that, it was like your whole world came to a halt.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life moves on.

The war was over, but all you could think about was Gilrin’s death. Bodies had been collected hours ago, including Gilrin’s, but you could not find it in you to move. Could not find it in you to move from the spot he was killed. You were just in shock.

It’s nearly dusk when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you find Balin looking down at you. You had never seen him so tired before.

“The others?” You ask quietly, only knowing the fate of Gilrin.

“They are all tired, but alive. Every single one of them,” he says.

“Not every single one of them,” you say, turning away from him.

“Y/n-.”

“Please, Balin, just give me this moment,” you say and he gives your shoulder a squeeze before heading into the mountain.

Sometimes you wished you had the gift of seeing. If you did, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. You wouldn’t have had to watch him die. You wouldn’t have seen a lot of things but here you were. Everything was won, but you had lost the love of your life. It was like a part of you left with him. You felt absolutely empty.

Looking up as you feel someone sit next to you, you find Fili. Kili joins you on your left and you look between both of your nephews, your resolve finally breaking.

As soon as your lip starts trembling, arms wrap around you and foreheads come resting on your temples.

You could’ve had this. You could’ve had children. You could’ve had a family, but it was ripped from you in a matter of seconds.

Feeling yourself being lifted, you wrap your arms around the dwarf in front of you and soon you are encapsulated by three other dwarves. The only family you were destined to have apparently.

-

Sitting by Thorin’s side, you watch the merry dwarves, elves, and men celebrate.

Both Thorin and Frerin had apologized and you did not blame them. You knew it was the dragon sickness and you knew that if they were in there right minds, they would not have send those things and everything had been purr in the past.

Thorin’s hands squeezes yours, gaining your attention. He sends you a small smile and the corner of your lips lift a little, but that is all you could manage right now.

Everyone was celebrating, but you could not find it in yourself to do so as well.

Whatever happiness you had was gone. Even though you told Frerin that your light wouldn’t disappear, it had and you knew it was never going to come back.

Excusing yourself from the festivities, you head to your room to collect your stuff. You couldn’t stand staying here. Not when it only brought you sad memories.

Packing your things, you grab the portraits last trying not to squish them in your pack.

“You’re leaving again aren’t you?”

Turning around, you find Thorin standing at the door.

“I can’t Thorin. This is home, but what is a home that only brings you sadness and despair?”

“What of Dis? She will come home to find that her sister is gone yet again.”

“I will not be gone forever, Thorin,” you say, continuing to pack your things, “I will be in the Iron Hills for a year or so and then I will head back to Erebor with my things for good. This I promise you.”

Thorin sighs before pulling you into another hug.

“I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused you-.”

“Don’t, Thorin. I knew what the consequences were. Gilrin and I knew what we were getting into. It was never your fault. We chose this. If anything, the fault is ours, little brother.”

“I am still sorry,” he says and you pull back, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I know you are,” you say.

Looking at him, you give him the first smile to grace your face since yesterday.

“You are going to be an amazing king, brother,” you say before leaving the room.

After saying your goodbyes to the company, you walk out of Erebor, not realizing that there was a dwarf inhaling sharply as life was brought into him once more.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs an attitude adjustment

“Come on, lad. Let’s sit you up,” Oin says, rushing to help Tauriel help Gilrin sit up.

When Gilrin had been brought in, Oin had found a little thrum of life going through his veins which immediately sent him on his way to find Tauriel. He knew she would help especially since Gilrin was important to you and she did.

“Where’s y/n?” Gilrin asks immediately, taking the offered water from Tauriel’s hands.

“Celebrating no doubt,” Oin says, grabbing a wrap. Gilrin winces as Oin begins wrapping his injury.

“The stab wound just missed your heart and you were lucky that Master Oin had found me just in time. A minute longer and you surely would’ve been dead,” Tauriel states, walking around to clean up the mess she made.

“I can’t thank you enough. First you save y/n and now me. For that I am grateful,” Gilrin says, leaning back on the headboard.

“Anyone important to Kili is important to me,” she replies.

“Tauriel!”

Speaking of the devil.

“Balin had said you had run off with Oin yesterday. I was beginning-.”

Kili stops himself as he spots Gilrin sitting up and completely alive.

Gilrin raises his brow at the prince before reaching for his water yet again.

“You act like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Girlin says.

“You’re not dead!” Kili exclaims, not really believe the sight before him.

Everyone had thought Gilrin had died because of your sorrow. They didn’t have the common sense to check themselves.

“Yes? That’s all thanks to who I hope will be your future wife,” Gilrin replies, earning a small smile from Tauriel.

“No fucking way,” Kili whisper, still staring at Gilrin in shock.

“Okay, Kili. What’s wrong?” Gilrin asks, annoyed at the astonished looks he was getting.

“Auntie left back to the Iron Hills because she thought you were dead!”

“She what?”

-

Thanking the eagle, you walk up to the front gates, shouldering your pack. You made an arrangement with Radagast yesterday evening and the eagles happily agreed to help you travel to the Iron Hills, which you were grateful for. It saved you loads of time.

Most of the city appeared to be sleeping which you were grateful for. You did not want to be asked any questions right now. You just wanted to go to your chambers and take a long nap.

Making your way to your chambers, you sigh.

Why did you come back? The Iron Hills held more terrible memories than Erebor and everywhere you looked reminded you of him. Of the things you used to do together.

You shake your head.

That was not important. What was important was getting some sleep.

-

“Did you all really not have common sense to actually check if I was dead?” Gilrin ask irritably.

All members of the company were currently gathered in the healer’s wing, staring at him, dumbfounded. They were currently getting on his nerves.

“We had assumed that y/n had checked because she was absolutely devastated,” Thorin defends.

“I’ll admit lad, it took me a while to realize that you were actually alive as well so you can’t blame her.”

“I can blame them for letting her leave. Why didn’t you stop her?” he asks. This stress was definitely not good for him.

“She didn’t want to be stopped because she thought you were dead! Why would she stay at a place where her one was supposedly killed,?” Thorin snaps.

He definitely did not appreciate that Gilrin woke up with a “fight me” attitude. Don’t get him wrong; he’s glad that Gilrin was alive, absolutely ecstatic, but he really wanted to punch him in the face.

“How did she disappear so quickly though?” Gilrin asks quietly, finally relaxing a bit.

He didn’t want to put too much stress on his body.

“She arranged it with the eagles yesterday before she came inside,” Bilbo inputs, taking a seat next to Kili on one of the empty beds.

There had been many injured, but most were located in the market area due to the amount of people that were injured. They could not fit 60 people in the healer’s wing and only the really injured ones were brought to the wing.

“If you send her a letter I am sure she will come back,” Kili suggests.

“Yes because that worked so well that last time,” Gilrin says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t be such a prick.”

“Fight me.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Tauriel interrupts, starting to usher everyone out,  “all of you should get some rest. It’s been a long two days and you’re all in horrid moods.”

With a grumble, the dwarves stand and leave Gilrin to his rest.

“You master dwarf are causing too much issues and you’ve only been up for a few hours,” Tauriel scolds, putting chairs back into their original places.

“When will I be able to travel to the Iron Hills?” Gilrin asks, lying down on his bed.

“Not for another month or two. Your wound needs time to heal.”

Keeping the grumbling to himself as to not piss the elf off anymore, Gilrin goes to sleep thinking of the future yet to come.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was this a dream?

It has been months since the war ended and it seems that the light did come back but in the form of a five years old dwarfling.

You found him while on a hunting trip with Dain. His parents were killed by wargs but the little guy was buried in the bushes. It was pure luck that you had found the babe. If he didn’t let out a wail as you were passing by the bush, you wouldn’t have even known he was there. You couldn’t find any family members of the little one so you just took him in as your own. It was hard at first knowing that he was not your son but you were going to raise him like he was your flesh and blood.

“You got lucky didn’t you?” Dain asks as he plops himself down on an arm chair.

Since adopting little Obulin, he visited often. He questioned you on your choice of name and you told him that naming him after your one would bring up too many bad memories and you didn’t think you would be able to raise him properly if his name was Gilrin. Dain’s visits usually consisted of him helping you with Little Obu. He was the only one that you knew and the only one that had a child. He gave you very useful advice and you quite enjoyed his visits.

“I did didn’t I?” You ask, tickling Obu’s little cheeks. That gains a giggle and you smile at the little one.

“How is Thorin? I’m assuming you’ve kept in touch?”

“Thorin is doing well. They all are. They are impatiently waiting for my return,” you reply.

“Oh?”

“He does not want a coronation without me present and neither does Dis so as soon as I can arrange safe travel for us I’ll-,” your monologue gets interrupted by a knock on the door.

Standing, you place Little Obu on your hips.

Answering the door, you almost drop Obu in shock. It was definitely not possible. The dwarf standing in front of you was simply not possible! He died and yet here he was.

“Gilrin?”

Looking at the dwarf before you still cannot believe your eyes. It was him from the way he stood to the scar on his eyebrow it was your dwarf. He was alive.

You slowly put Obu down as Gilrin begins shifting, nervousness overtaking him.

“I couldn’t send a letter because it didn’t work out so well last time so I came here. Last time this happened, I let you go and I am never making the same mistake twice. I’m sorry that I treated you the way I did. I don’t deserve you and I would understand if you turned me-,” he starts but you interrupt him by grabbing onto his lapels and pulling him towards you, your lips finally Interlocking after all these years.

It felt like home.

Pulling away, his forehead comes down to rest on yours. Sighing, you close your eyes letting your tears escape.

“If this is a dream, I will kill the man who tries to wake me,” you whisper, praying to mahal that it wasn’t another nightmare.

They came often. It would always have you, Gilrin and two daughters that looked exactly like you and you were always happy until they were ripped away by the orc that killed him. You could never sleep peacefully because of it.

“I am no dream, amralime. I am real. I am completely real and now we have nothing to stop us from being together.”

That is all the confirmation you need. Pulling him into a hug, you let out a sob and it’s like your heart was stitching itself back together again. You had the love of your life in your arms and you weren’t planning on letting him go.

-

Everything was like those nightmares you always had but this time your family was not going to get ripped away from you and it made your heart soar.

Gilrin was currently lying on the rug in front of the fireplace with Obulin balanced on his feet as if to make him fly. Little Obu was giggling happily at being lifted up so high.

It had been a few weeks since Gilrin returned to the Iron Hills and he and Obulin got along splendidly.

Gilrin had a bit of a dumb moment, asking if he was your son and you had to smack him upside the head for that stupid question.

“Have you told Thorin about him?” Gilrin asks, bringing Obu down to rest on his chest.

“No not yet. I didn’t feel it was right telling him over a raven,” you respond, smiling as Obulin reaches up to touch Gilrin’s beard, feeling his own face for one as well. Everything just made your heart swell.

“Makes sense,” he says, tossing Obulin up in the air and catching him causing you to smile like an idiot.

This was it. This was your happy ending. You could die now and you would be okay with that because you finally got what you wanted: your own family.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited once again.

You smile as you watch Gilrin and Obulin get off their pony at the front gate of Erebor. Everything they did made you happy.

It had been a year since you’ve last been to Erebor. Tomorrow is Durin’s day and you were nervous. Not because of the party, of course not, you were nervous about seeing Dis.

When Thorin and Frerin first saw you, they didn’t take it well so you were not sure about how Dis would take it. Sure, Thorin had said she was excited to see you, but that could’ve changed with in the year.

You feel a hand on your thigh and you look down to find Gilrin with Little Obu attached to his hip. They were both smiling at you and you realize that you were the only one of your caravan to still be on a pony.

Smiling back down at them, you finally dismount with the help of Gilrin. A few guards come to help you with your stuff and you ignore them, opting to hold Obulin instead.

“We’re finally home, little one,” you tell him and he just gurgles in response.

The newly made gates open and you look up.

There was Thorin in the robes he wore as a prince. He looked as handsome as ever. He hadn’t grown back his beard and he had a few more gray streaks but that doesn’t gain your attention. The dam standing beside him does.

Dis had grown up into a beautiful dwarrow, of that you were certain. The top half of her long brown hair was pulled back while the rest was loose around her shoulders. You could see two of her her braids in the same spot where you, Frerin, and Thorin had yours. She was now as tall as you from what you could tell from the distance.

Turning back to Gilrin, you pass Obulin over and as soon as the dwarfling is out of your hands you are tackled to the ground. You hear Dis let out a sob and immediately your arms go around your little sister, the day Smaug attacked filling your mind.

Sitting up, you pull Dis closer to you, tears of joy also falling from your eyes.

“Please don’t leave me,” she whimpers and your grip tightens again and it was like you were back to your younger selves all over again. The pain you have caused must’ve been immense if she was begging you not to leave as if she was 7 again and not 181.

“Never again Little Dis. I promise,” you mutter and her grip on you gets tighter as well.

You feel a smaller arm wrap around your neck and Dis pulls back, confused.

You smile at Obulin as he looks about sad.

“Mama huggy?” He asks, tilting his head to the side, holding out his arms, and open and closing his fists.

You wipe your tears away and smile at him again.

“Mama huggy,” you say and he walks forward again, trying to bring Dis into the hug as well. She gets the idea and moves closer and the three of you share a hug.

Pulling back, Obulin places a kiss on your nose then one on Dis’.

“Kissy kissy,” he giggles and you smile, pulling him closer to you.

“Did you really go to the Iron Hills to get laid?” Dis asks Gilrin, wiping her tears away causing you to snort.

“What? Of course not! The child is 5 or so. Definitely not mine and definitely not y/n’s,” Gilrin says, helping the two of you up.

“Then how?” Dis asks, taking Obulin into her arms as he reaches for her.

“Found his parents dead in the forest surrounding the Iron Hills. He was in a little bush and I wouldn’t have found him if he hadn’t let out a cry as I passed,” you explain, trying to gather yourself.

“He looks like you both and it’s kind of ridiculous,” Dis says, tickling little Obu’s stomach making him giggle again.

“Never really noticed,” you say as she sniffles again.

You press a kiss to her temple and rest your forehead on hers.

“It’s good to have you home,” Dis says and you both let out a laugh as Obulin joins you in your forehead touching. With you making amends with your family, you felt whole once again.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Obulin makes himself known.

Pulling away from Dis, you look up to find Thorin making his way over to you with Frerin, Fili, and Kili following right behind him. Dis turns towards them too and Fili and Kili stop, looking shocked.

Both of your brows furrow in confusion.

“Don’t do that,” Fili exclaims continuing his way over to you. “Do what?” You both ask. “That! You guys look so much alike that it’s scary,” Kili complains.

You raise your brow.

“Really? It’s like we-.”“- were born from the same parents. Yes we got that thanks,” Fili whines and you laugh as Thorin pulls you into a hug.

“It’s good to have you back,” he whispers.

“It’s good to be home,” you reply.

“Uncle Rin!” Obulin exclaims and Thorin pulls back from you to look at the dwarfling

“Uncle Rin?” Thorin asks, looking at you confused.

You just shrug at him.

“You still look the same in the portrait.”

“Who is this little guy?” Frerin asks, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your arm going around his waist.

“Meet little Obulin. I found him when hunting with Dain. I figured telling you over a raven wouldn’t be such a good idea,” you say as Dis passes Obu over to Thorin.

Obulin is more interested in Thorin’s beads than the king himself.

“Ah so we do actually get to become Uncles?”

“Cousins,” you and Gilrin corrects.

“Uncle cousins?” Kili asks hopefully and you roll your eyes.

“We’ll talk about it later,” you say.

“Mahal he looks exactly like you both,” Thorin states, looking down at the dwarfling.

“I honestly don’t see it,” you say.

“Does this mean he gets more claim to the throne than I do?” Fili questions, pinching Obulin’s cheeks.

“No. He’s not an actual Durin. Nice try though,” you say.

Fili was scared. He told you that once. He wasn’t sure he was ready to run a kingdom after Thorin. He already set such a high bar that Fili was afraid he wasn’t going to cut it. You reassured him that when the time comes, he will be ready and that he had all of his family to help him.

“Fee!” Obulin exclaims, holding out his hands to fili to be carried. Fili plucks him from Thorin looking at you confused.

“Ori had given me portraits of you, Frerin, Kili, and Gilrin before I left. I taught him all about you guys. I didn’t want him to grow up not knowing his family.”

“I thought you were only going to stay for a year?” Frerin asks, looking at you.

“I was, but then Obulin came into my life and I needed to settle down, but I’m home now and for good.”

You smile at your little family. This is how it was supposed to be.

“Come. You must be tired from the long journey,” Thorin says, offering you his arm. You take it and you all make your way into Erebor.

-

Preparation for the ceremony fell on yours and Dis’ hand. You because you were the eldest and Dis because you didn’t want to deal with anyone else. You were still getting dirty looks from some of the dwarves so you didn’t want to deal with that.

You wanted to give Thorin shit for giving you such a responsibility the day before the ceremony but lucky for Thorin Dis had everything covered and now you just had to wait till tonight.

Walking into your now shared chambers, you spy Thorin lying on your bed with Obulin on his chest.  He had decided to have your room cleaned which you were grateful for. You hated dust mites.

“I’ve been looking for my son all day since he suddenly disappeared from my room,” you huff, shedding your outer robes. Dis had forced you to dress like a Durin should and you let her have that one moment. Her and her damn dresses.

“Obviously you haven’t looked good enough, right Linny?” Thorin asks, turning over to blow a raspberry on Obulin’s stomach.

“Right Uncle Rin!” Obulin replies with a giggle.

You shake your head at your brother.

“Thorin it’s only been a day and he’s already got you wrapped around his fingers,” you say, taking a seat on one of the chairs. “And you say that like it’s a bad thing,” is Thorin’s reply as he rolls over to place Obu on his chest again.

“Thorin. You started calling him Linny,” you say. “I like it,” he responds. “Me too!” Obulin replies and you shake your head at their silliness.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin’s coronation day is finally here and Little Obu sort of rats you out.

Shooing Thorin away to get ready for his coronation, you pick Obulin up and place him on your desk trying to figure out the best outfit for your little prince.

The door opens again and you get ready to shoo Thorin away but you stop as you realize it’s only Gilrin. He gives you a smile before pressing a kiss to your cheek and then pressing a kiss to Obulin’s forehead.

“I haven’t seen you all day today,” you complain as he was places a package on the desk. He comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I know. I’m sorry. I had shopping to do,” he says and you reach for the package, opening it.

In there was a royal blue tunic and black trousers that were the perfect size for Obulin. It was made from fine fabric. Something a royal would wear.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?”

“Because we’re two parts of the same person. Now get ready. You have a crown to give to a king,” Gilrin states before giving your bum a squeeze and walking off.

You blush before looking down at your son.

“Your adad’s going to get it later,” you mumble and Obulin just giggles so you get him ready for the ceremony.

-

Walking into the great hall, you try to smooth out your dress. It had been YEARS since you last wore one and it was very uncomfortable but for Dis, you’ll tough it out.

At the end of the great hall was a long table with 19 seats. 19  seats for the line of Durin and those that had helped reclaimed Erebor. Bard and Thranduil were on their own table in the front surrounded by their guards. You guessed it was about time Thranduil made peace.

Everyone but Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin was already seated. Gilrin had left with Obulin earlier to give you time to get ready.

You had the honor of giving the king his crown when Balin bought it in.As the eldest, it was now your responsibility to grace Thorin with his crown. It has been like that for centuries, but you did suppose that this time was different because instead of the previous king it was you.

You take a seat next to Dis and now there was only one chair waiting to be filled. A few minutes later the door opens to reveal Dwalin and the hall goes silent and you all rise for Thorin as he enters.

He looks nervous and you want to be by his side to reassure him, but you can’t. Not yet.

Moving to the front of the table, you cross your arms behind your back waiting patiently for Thorin to stand in front of you.

As he does so, he kneels on the stairs and you take that as your cue.

“Long have we waited for this day for a king to walk these halls again. One hundred and seventy two years too long. It is my honor and privilege as the eldest of Thrain and Derias to name you, Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King of Erebor,” you state, taking the crown from the pillow Balin was holding.

Thorin bows his head and you place the crown on top before looking at the crowd and starting another speech, the dwarves joining you as well.

 _“The King beneath the mountains,_  
   The King of carven stone,  
The lord of silver fountains  
   Has come into his own!  
  
His crown has been upholden,  
   His harp has been restrung,  
His halls now echo golden  
   To songs of yore re-sung.  
  
The woods now wave on mountains  
   And grass beneath the sun;  
His wealth now flows in fountains  
   And the rivers golden run.  
  
The streams now run in gladness,  
   The lakes now shine and burn,  
All sorrow fail and sadness  
   At the Mountain-king’s return!”

“Now come the days of the King, and may they be blessed while the thrones of the Valar endure!”

Ending your speech, everyone cheers as Thorin stands.

Thorin brings you in and rests his forehead on yours.

“Thank you. For everything,” he whispers and you smile.

“Congratulations, my king,” you say before pulling back.

Thorin smiles at you before turning to address the hall.

“A hundred and seventy two years ago, we lost our home to Smaug and here we are with our home back in our hands. A year ago, I did not deserve to be king. I was unworthy of the title and selfish beyond measure, but it was thanks to y/n that I had returned to my normal self,” Thorin starts and you look at Balin, wondering what he was talking about. Balin just shrugs. No one knew exactly how he came out of his dragon sickness. He just did and he never explained how it happened. At least until now.

“There was a voice inside of my head that came in the form of my sister begging me to change. Begging me to be the King that everyone looked up to. The king that I was meant to be. Without her, I don’t think I would be standing here today,” Thorin says, turning to look at you. You give him a reassuring smile and he turns back to the crowd.

“We started this journey with sixteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a wizard and I cannot be more grateful for the company that journeyed across Middle Earth with me. I put every single one of their lives in danger everyday and yet they followed me until the very end. They never turned their backs on me even when I was being completely unreasonable. They would give their lives for me and I will do the same. The reclamation does not only belong to me, it belongs to every single one of these dwarves and hobbit that is sitting at this table. Without them none of this would’ve been possible.

I mustn’t forget those who gave their lives in the war that slaughtered many. We mourn and miss them and we must remember that because of them we are standing here today. We must never forget.

Thank you all for coming tonight and I hope that I live up to your expectations as King Under the Mountain,” Thorin ends and everyone cheers.

Thorin walks to his chair and so do Balin and Dwalin and as soon as you and Thorin are both seated, the rest of the hall takes their seat as well.

You all get served your food and you were kind of surprised. How did Thorin find workers so quickly? That was a question for another day.

You feel a tug on your sleeve and you look down to find Obulin. He must’ve made his way from his father. You pick him up and place him on his lap, but he is soon stolen by Thorin.

“You know, you could always make your own kids,” you huff, kind of jealous at the fact that you no longer had your son in your arms.

“Why have kids of your own when you can take care of your siblings children,” Thorin retorts, feeding Obulin some of his food.

You roll your eyes.

“I know they’re a bit thick, but Fili and Kili can take care of themselves.”

“Hey!’ you hear and you look past Thorin to find both Fili and Kili glaring at you.

“I doubt even that is true,” Dis remarks and you laugh as the two begin pouting.

“Traitors!” Kili calls out and you roll your eyes, leaning back in your seat.

“You’ve raised amazing boys, Dis,” you tell your sister.

“Not without the help of Frerin and Thorin,” she says with a smile on her face and it kind of stings.

You know she didn’t mean anything by it, but its hard to think about the fact that they had a life without you in it and Thorin’s;s words can’t help, but filter through your mind.

“Mama sad,” you hear and you look up to find Obulin reaching out for you with a frown on his face. You pull him towards you trying to ignore Thorin and Dis’ stares.

“Mama is fine, little one. I promise,” you lie.

Thorin sighs.

“Y/n-.”

“I said I’m fine Thorin,” you grit out.

Sighing you rub your temple as Obulin wraps his arm around your neck.

“Mama angry now. I don’t like angry mama,” Obulin states.

“I’m sorry little one. Just ignore me Thorin it’s nothing to worry about,” you say, pressing a kiss to Obu’s forehead.

“Mama lying.”

“I think I trust your son more than you right now,” Thorin states eying you suspiciously.

You just shake your head and smile at him.

“It’s nothing to worry about Thorin. Tonight is your night I’m not going to take this from you,” you say and he shakes his head.

“We will talk about it later,” he says before turning to Frerin to discuss something.

“Only a year and this little guy has already picked up on your emotions,” Dis says and you smile as Obulin reaches for a role.

“He has and I feel like he’s going to get me into trouble some day.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get reassurance from Fili.

The party continues on and after the meal, a few dwarves, elves, and men go on the center floor to dance.

You laugh as Fili pulls you up and you hand Obulin to Thorin before following your nephew to the dance floor. He swings you around and you giggle, trying to keep up with his fast movements.

“Where did you learn how to dance because it sure as hell weren’t from your uncles,” you laugh.

“Would you believe me if I said it was dwalin?”

“I’d choke if you did,” you respond and he laughs.

“Amad taught me when we were younger. She’d just spin me around on her feet until I learned how to properly dance. Frerin and Thorin jumped in as well sometimes,” Fili explains and you frown a bit.

“I don’t like when you frown, Auntie,” Fili says, rubbing the corner of your lips until you laugh.

“Sorry little one. It’s just. Thinking about you all growing up without me. It’s heartbreaking.”

Fili sighs, pulling you closer.

“Auntie. I’ve always known there was self-doubt, but we all love you. We have forgiven you so you should forgive yourself. Yes you did miss majority of our lives, but you are now here for the rest of it so please stop fretting.”

“But-.”

“No buts we love you that is final. We realized that you missed out but now you can make it up. We can be a complete family after one hundred and seventy two years and I couldn’t be happier.”

You look at Fili and smile.

He definitely got his wisdom from his mother.

“Thank you, Fili, for those words.”

“You took care of us on the journey. It is time for us to take care of you,” he says before kissing your forehead.

He spins you around and lets you go and collide into a chest. You look up to find Gilrin and you turn to look at Fili, but he was already off with another dam.

“Your nephew has got some skill,” Gilrin states.

“That’s not from me that’s for sure,” you respond as you step on his boot. He just laughs and pulls you closer, the song changing into a much slower one.

“Can you believe it? We’re actually here. Together with a little one of our own,” he says and you smile up at him.

“Now all we need to do is get married,” you joke. The smile slowly slips from your face as he kneels in front of you and digs into his pockets.

Slowly the music comes to a halt and so does everyone dancing. All eyes are now upon you.

“We’ve known each other for one hundred and seventy-two years. One hundred and forty-two of those was spent apart and there was not a day that I didn’t miss you. Over this journey we were reunited and I thought you were never going to forgive me but you did and in that darkness we found love and I know I’ve made my mistakes but you’ve accepted my apologies even the one for mending dead,” Gilrin starts and that earns a watery chuckle from you and a laugh from everyone else, “these past 8 months have been blissful with you and little Obulin and even though we already are family, I want us to be a proper one. So please will you do me the honor of marrying me?” He asks, opening the box to reveal a beautiful sapphire ring surrounded by- wait a minute. Was that the arkenstone?

You turn to Thorin and he’s smiling brightly at you.

“There is nothing I treasure more than you and what better way to show it than giving you a gem that is more important than all the gold in Erebor,” Thorin states.

“But the people-.”

“Know who their king is with or without the stone,” Thorin states and you look back at Gilrin, tears rolling down your face.

“Yes,” you say and he looks absolutely ecstatic, “I will marry you.”

Putting the ring on your finger, he stands, but it’s only in vain as you tackle him to the ground in a kiss.

Gilrin laughs, wrapping his arm around your waist as the hall lets out a cheer. It was finally happening: you were getting married.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation Bagginshield.

Although you had a wedding to plan, you had a mission to complete: operation Bagginshield. At least that’s what your nephews had called it.

After thinking about it, you could see it. Thorin always relied on Bilbo and Bilbo was always by Thorin’s side no matter what. Hell, he hadn’t even left to go back to the Shire yet! That had to mean something! As your nephews explained what they saw, you realized that the heartbreak you saw on the wall that day was more than just the heartbreak from a friends betrayal. It was way more than just that.

Fili and Kili had decided to drag you into it because you were Thorin’s best friend and if anything you could talk some sense into him.

“We just need them to kiss,” Fili explains, tossing Obulin in the air as he takes a seat on your bed. You were currently seated on your desk, Kili was lying on your bed and Fili was sat against the headboard. Gilrin was around here somewhere.

“It’s not that simple Fili. I mean look at me and Gilrin. It took us a hundred and seventy two years to get together and if anything Thorin is thicker than me,” you respond.

“But this time we actually have time to set them up. Like we couldn’t with you and Gilrin because we were on the road but now we can.”

“Isn’t Bilbo leaving back to the shire tomorrow?” you ask.

“Well, yes, but that’s only to pack his things. Dwalin, Bofur, and Nori are going with him to help,” Kili adds. He grunts as Obulin jumps on his belly.

“So we’ve got 8 months to plan this out. That gives us a lot of time,” you say, taking a seat on your chair and bringing out a parchment from your desk and a quill.

“Okay what’s plan A?”

-

Pushing aside the planning was a bit hard once you got into it, but you had to because Thorin had entered your home with Gilrin and Frerin behind him.

You only stayed in your quarters for a day before you were all moved into a larger home. Something that Thorin had built apparently. He had broken down walls and instead of having single bedrooms for the royal family, he made homes which worked just as fine. Although you missed your old quarters this larger one was better plus you didn’t all have to cram into the bedroom. You actually had a living room to go into.

“What are you three doing?” Thorin asks, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorway.

“Nothing,” you three reply.

“Planning!” Obu shouts and Thorin raises his brow.

“Planning what?”

Before Obulin can answer, Kili throws him in air making him giggle and become distracted.

“I will get to the bottom of it,” Thorin says before leaving the bedroom. You all let out a sigh of relief and you tuck the scroll back into the desk.

“Close one,” Fili says before standing.

“Tell me about it,” you respond before the three of you make your way out of the bedroom.

Your home had two bedrooms, a bathroom in each, one study, a living area and a kitchen area.

It typically held your little family and Dis, Fili, Kili, Thorin, and Frerin. It was like they didn’t have homes of their own, but you were okay with it because it just meant that you guys get to become closer.

Kili places Obulin down and he immediately goes running to Gilrin.

“How is my little prince doing?” Gilrin coos, lifting him up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Where’ve you been adad! I missed you,” Obulin pouts and you smile pressing a kiss to Gilrins cheek before maneuvering around him to make dinner.

“I know love bug. I’m sorry. I had to help your uncle,” Gilrin says.

Obulin turns to Thorin and holds out his hands. Thorin takes him from Gilrin and Obulin immediately reaches for his crown. Removing it from Thorin’s head, Obu places it on his head and it stays for a second before promptly sliding down to his neck. Thorin lets out a chuckle before taking a seat on the couch. Dis walks in and joins you in the kitchen.

“Thorin?” Dis calls out.

“Yes,” Thorin replies.

“When are you going to court Bilbo?”

Her question causes you to nearly cut your finger off, Fili and Kili to choke, and Frerin to snort. Oh my. She sure knew how to get things out.

“Bilbo is just a friend.”

“Bullshit,” everyone else calls out.

“Bullshit,” Obulin cries out followed by a giggle.

You glare at your family and they look at you sheepishly.

“That’s not a nice word,” Thorin says, trying to get back on your good side and you shake your head going back to cooking dinner.

“Don’t change the subject Thorin. I think that you should tell the hobbit your feelings before he leaves before he finds a reason to stay in Hobbiton.”

“Bilbo is coming back-.”

“What if he doesn’t?” you ask, joining into the conversation and stopping the preparation for dinner.

“He will-,”

“Thorin for mahal’s sake just tell the hobbit,” Dis snaps.

“You pretend as if I have feelings for him,” Thorin grumbles.

“And you pretend as if you don’t,” is your reply.

Thorin lets out a sigh and you smile. He was accepting defeat.

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Well, the day he announced that he gave the arkenstone to Thranduil and Bard, you had that look of betrayal on your face like you had when I left and it was because you were betrayed by someone you loved and i am certain that it was not a familial love,” you explain.

Dis takes a seat next to you.

“No one has explained to me what happened and i think it’s about time I found out,” Dis says, looking at you expectantly. You look around and everyone else seems to be avoiding your eyes and you sigh. You guess it fell on you.

-

Thorin winces as a shoe makes contact with his head. Luckily, Obulin was sitting with Kili as far away from Thorin as possible.

“I can’t believe you,” Dis growls and your hand reaches out to stop her before she flies yet another shoe at his head or Frerin’s head.

“You should’ve cut his braids of for what he did to you. For what they both did to you,” Dis growls, relaxing a bit.

“That would’ve been rash Dis. Besides we all made it out alive and we forgave each other. That’s all I could ask for,” you say before standing and continuing dinner.

“You’re lucky I love you Thorin, but you are still not getting away with dodging our questions,” Dis states.

Thorin lets out a sigh.

“I will tell the hobbit in the morning.”

“You better or this time, I’ll actually cut your braids off.”

You laugh. Dis is definitely a force to be reckoned with.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin’s a liar and your true feelings come out.

You observe Thorin and Bilbo from the top of the front gates. Bilbo was leaving and Thorin had lied to you all, saying he would be leaving in the afternoon when he was in fact leaving now. Being his best friend, you immediately knew that he was lying, but you didn’t want to tell him, opting to let it all play out.

Dis comes to a stand next to you and the both of you watch your brother and hobbit with interest.

“Are you really going to cut off his braid if he doesn’t say something?” you ask her and she snorts.

“Empty threats. That’s all. I knew he wouldn’t have the balls to do it,” Dis replies as you watch Thorin awkwardly shuffle about while Bilbo does the same thing.

“They’re both hopeless, aren’t they?” you ask again, cringing as Thorin holds out his hand to be shaken.

Bilbo takes it awkwardly and you swear that you can see Dwalin roll his eyes. He looks up at the both of you and points his thumb at Bilbo and Thorin as if to say, “can you believe these two?”

You and Dis both giggle, watching as Bofur, Nori, Dwalin and Bilbo mount their ponies. You watch them ride off before turning to look at Thorin. You notice him visibly stiffen before slowly turning around to look you both. You tut disapprovingly before making your way down to the main floor.

“Are you always so full of shit, Thorin?” You ask as your brother meets the two of you.

“Shut up,” is his reply.

“I guess Fili and Kili and I will have to continue our plotting,” you tell him, linking your arm with his as Dis does the same.

“Shouldn’t you be planning a wedding?” Thorin asks irritably.

“Yes but we’re not getting married till next year so we’ve got plenty of time,” you say cheerfully and he just groans.

-

“More Uncle Fer!” you hear through your door. You smile, shaking your head as you enter your room.

Frerin is currently spinning Obulin around using his hands. Obulin giggles as Frerin stops. He tries to stand straight, but he can’t and falls straight to the ground.

You let out a laugh, closing the door behind you.

“Mama!” Obulin shouts. He tries to make his way to you, but he falls. Frerin catches him before he hits the ground.

“Hello, little Obu,” you say, picking him up. He presses a kiss to your cheek and you smile at him.

“I’m going to take a fat guess and say Thorin didn’t confess,” Frerin says.

“Of course he didn’t. He’s too much of a chicken,” you say, taking a set next to him.

“Must run in the family,” Frerin jokes.

“Funny,” you huff.

“So Fili let slip interesting information today,” Frerin starts, watching as Obulin plays with his new toys for Bifur and Bofur.

“And I’m guessing that’s why you’re here,” you tell him.

“Y/n. I do hope you realize that we all love you no matter what and that we left everything in the past-”

“But what you guys don’t understand is that I haven’t!” You snap and that causes Obulin to drop his toy.

Gilrin comes out from the other room and wordlessly picks Obu up and leaves, but not before hearing Obu say, “mama angry, papa. I don’t want an angry ma and angry Fer.”

Waiting to the door closes, you face your brother.

“You guys don’t understand how I feel! I look at you, Dis, and Thorin and I feel that I don’t belong and that Thorin’s words were true. That you all don’t love me and it hurts watching you three together because I feel like I’m never apart of the family! I know it’s all my fault but it still hurts all the same,” you cry out and Frerin immediately wraps his arms around you.

“I am so sorry that you still have this pain to go through. If I could, I would take it from you, but I can’t so I just want to let you know that you will always be apart of our family. We have never considered you anything but. We love you, y/n. Nothing will ever change that. I promise,” Frerin says and you pull him closer.

Healing was going to take longer than you expected.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow day and grumpy Thorin.

The days till Bilbo returns has been unbearable. Thorin was crankier than ever before. All of the company members stayed away from him, but the dwarves who didn’t often got backlash from him. It seems the only one that could calm him was Obulin so whenever Thorin had a meeting, Balin asked for Obulin to join them. That probably saved many relations.

“Leave! I do not want to deal with your problems,” you hear as you enter the throne room. You watch as another high lord exits and you raise your brow as you approach the throne.

“You’re not looking so good as a king, brother,” you tell him.

“I didn’t ask you,” he snaps and you fix him with a glare. Thorin sighs, straightening himself out.

“Come little one. It’s time for a break,” you say, dismissing his guards and Balin and Ori.

Taking. Your little brothers arm, you lead him outside for some fresh air.

“You call me little one as if I am still five,” Thorin grumbles. “I wouldn’t have to if you started acting your age,” you snap, “besides, Dis doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.”

“That’s because she’s Dis,” Thorin grumbles again as the cool crisp air hits you.

You both watch as the children run around in the snow. It was currently March, but you got more snow now than you did in December and January. Mother Nature was really weird sometimes.

You see Obulin and Gilrin running around and you giggle as Obu falls face first into the snow. Thorin lets out a laugh as well. The laugh is cut short, however, as Thorin’s face is hit with a ball of snow.

You look for the culprit and you find your nephews standing a few yards away and you let out a laugh but you choke as snow is shoved into your face as well. You huff and tackle Thorin to the ground, grabbing a hand full of snow and shoving it on his face and down his trousers. You stand quickly and run away as Thorin splutters.

“I’m going to kill you!” He roars and you quicken your place.

“Nephews, help me!” You cry out and Fili runs over to, you lifts over his shoulders and takes off as fast as he can. You look up and Thorin was gaining on you.

“Faster Fee! He’s catching up!” You shout.

You let out a laugh as Fili trips up and you both fall to the ground.

Obulin comes running to your aid, blocking Thorin from you as Fili gets off of you.

“No uncle Rin! You can’t hurt mama!”

“Oh yeah? And who’s going to stop me?”

“I am!”

Obulin lets a squeal as Thorin picks him and and toss him over his shoulder. Thorin then bends down to throw you over his shoulder as well and begins walking.

You gesture to Obulin to pinch and you both simultaneously reach down to pinch thorin’s but causing him to drop the both of you in shock. You laugh, gathering Obu in your arms.

“That’ll teach you right Obu?”

“Right mama!” he squeals and you laugh.

“If my balls fall of, I’m blaming you,” Thorin huffs.

“Why does Uncle Thorin have balls mama?” Obu asks confused and you snort.

“Because he’s weird. Where’s daddy?” you ask, turning to find your soon to be husband. He was a ways away talking to a dam and you frown as you realize that she was touching him way too much to be friendly.

“Papa!” Obu calls out and Gilrin turns to the both of you, dismissing himself from the dam. She looks a bit put off, but you ignore that little incident as Gilrin presses a kiss to your lips.

“Uncle Thorin’s balls might fall off!” Obu exclaims and you glare at your little brother as Gilrin lets out a laugh. Thorin just shrugs before he is talked yet again but this time by Fili and Kili.

“You are both getting too old for this!” Thorin grumbles as he stands. “Says you,” Fili says, plucking Obulin from your arms.

Thorin gets hit by yet another snowball and you pause, wondering who it could be this time. Not Frerin because he was sick, Fili and Kili were right in front you, and Gilrin next to you. The mischievous dwarves were at the Shire so who?

You all slowly turn to look at who threw the snowball and it was a bunch of children and they looked absolutely terrified.

“Uncle Rin going to chop their heads off?” Obu asks quietly and you smile as Thorin starts bending down.

“Quite the opposite,” you say before the children squeal as Thorin hits them with a snowball. Who knew the king could be deadly with a snow ball?


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo returns to Erebor, thank mahal

You frown as you see that dam yet again. Ever since that snow day two weeks ago, you kept on seeing that dam and always around Gilrin. You knew deep down that you shouldn’t be worried because Gilrin won’t try anything, but she was another story. You didn’t trust her as far as you could throw her. Something just wasn’t right about her.

“What are you glaring at?” Thorin asks, looking around.

The two of you were currently walking around the market. You decided that Thorin was being a grumpy ass yet again so he needed a break. You drug him, in the middle of a meeting, to the market. You somehow figured out that interacting with the people and not the nobles worked quite often. Thorin was friendly to those that didn’t think they were hot shit and liked the more humble ones.

“That dam there with Gilrin,” you say and Thorin finally finds what you are looking at.

He frowns. He knew that dam from his days in Ered Luin. She was not good news, that much he knew. Her name was Veylil and she liked to go to dwarrow that sparked her interest whether they be take or not. She was known to break up marriages, take the dwarrow a money and leave. Thorin loathed her because she tried with Frerin once but Dis cut her line.

“I don’t like her,” you tell him.

“Neither do we,” Thorin replies.

You see Gilrin stop talking for a second and he turns to look around as if sensing you somewhere.

He smiles brightly as he makes eye contact with you and dismisses himself yet again, bounding over to the both of you. He presses a kiss to your lips, smiling happily. That just causes all the worries to go away. You didn’t need to worry about that dam because you knew that Gilrin would never love another but you.

“Where’s our son?” Gilrin asks, taking a hold of your hand and joining you in your walk.

“Kili and Fili wanted to babysit. I am still questioning whether or not it was a good idea,” you respond.

“Whatever happened to that elf from the journey? The one that saved the both of us?” Gilrin asks, confused as to why he hasn’t seen Tauriel around.

“She lives in Dale as an ambassador for Bard since she is really the only elf dwarves, men, and elves can stand,” Thorin explains, smiling at a bunch of young dwarrow.

“That makes sense. I was expecting a marriage or something,” Gilrin states.

“Neither her or Kili are ready which is understandable. There has been a lot going on with the restoration,” Thorin explains.

“Still. I live for interracial couples,” you say and Thorin chuckles.

“When is Bilbo coming back?” You ask. You really wondered when you’d get to see your hobbit again.

“Not until October. Something has come up with a relative of his. He mentioned something about a little bugger by the name of Frodo. Lad just lost his parents so he’ll have to sort everything out,” Thorin states.

You squeal.

“Oh! A little bugger to call your own!” You say pinches his cheek and he slaps your hand away, glaring at you.

“You’re lucky I love you. I would’ve had you beheaded ages ago,” Thorin growls and you blow a raspberry at him.

-

The day that Bilbo returns is finally here. You were very excited because you really wanted to meet a hobbit child and because Thorin wouldn’t be so cranky. His mood had already changed once he got word that the caravan was currently in Mirkwood. Seeing your little brother happy made you happy.

You follow Thorin, Dis, and Frerin outside with Obulin holding onto yours and Gilrins hand.

“Uncle Bibo home?” He asks and you nod at him.

“Mhmm and maybe you get cousin to play with,” you say and that earns you a punch to your side from Thorin.

You shake your head as you see the hobbits in question. Holy shit.

You and Gilrin look at each other, wondering if you were both looking at the same thing. You exchange a look with Dis and Frerin and they noticed it too. The child looked exactly like Thorin. What in Durin’s name?

Your thoughts are interrupted as Thorin steps up to greet Bilbo. Frodo immediately burrows himself into Bilbo’s jacket, trying to hide from Thorin.

“Frodo. It’s alright. This is the nice king I was telling you about,” Bilbo coos and Frodo slowly looks at Thorin. He was so adorable!

“Hello Frodo,” Thorin says, kneeling down to his height but Frodo just buries his head back into Bilbo’s stomach.

Bilbo sighs, running his hand through Frodo’s hair.

“I’m sorry Thorin. It took him months to get used to Dwalin, Bofur, and Nori and he’s still iffy about Nori-,”

“He has a right to be,” Dwalin interrupts, getting off of his pony and Nori scowls as he starts unpacking his stuff.

“Where’s Bofur?” You ask.

“Went to Ered Luin to collect a few things. He’ll be back,” Dwalin states and you nod looking back at Bilbo and Thorin only to realize that Frodo was looking at you curiously. You slowly step up to them, putting Obu down and kneeling next to Thorin.

“Hello, Frodo. My name is y/n,” you introduce and you realize that he recognizes your name because he smiles, unfurling himself from Bilbo a bit.

He looks over to Obulin now fully coming out of Bilbo’s coat.

“I’m Obulin and this is my mama,” Obu says, wrapping an arm around your neck and kissing your cheek sloppily.

Frodo lets out a giggle.

“Nice to meet you Obu,” Frodo says, walking closer to you.

“Mama says we could be cousins one day!” Obu exclaims. Bilbo lets out a strange noise but you ignore it as Frodo leans into you.

“Really? I would love to be cousins with you,” Frodo says and you wrap an arm around his waist before standing with both boys in your arms.

“Why don’t we get you both nice and warm, yeah?” You ask and they both nod excitedly, wrapping their arms around your neck.

You poke your tongue out at Thorin and start heading into Erebor leaving Thorin not too pleased and Bilbo a bit shocked.

-

At dinner, you find Frodo sitting in Thorin’s lap. It seems the little hobbit was starting to get used to him. After a little coaxing from Bilbo and a lot from Obulin, Frodo relaxed a little.

You laugh as Frodo turns and uses his hand to wrap Thorin’s cloak around himself, making sure that his head was popped out.

“Look Obu! I’m a marshmallow,” Frodo says and Obu giggles before doing the same to Gilrin’s coat.

“So am I!”

The adults laugh at the children’s antics. This was the good life.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bagginshield and Wedding Questions

Knocking on your brothers door, you shuffle around. You were a bit nervous. You know you shouldn’t be, but you couldn’t help it. The King was typically the one the held the wedding ceremonies. There hasn’t been one where a king hasn’t been at the alter. You weren’t here to ask him to oversee your ceremony, you were here to ask him to walk you down the aisle. Your nerves get the best of you and you turn around, going the way you came.

“Y/n?”

You let out a sigh, turning to face Thorin. It seems you were not fast enough. Thorin was still in his Kingly robes and Frodo was currently sitting on top of his shoulders. Walking closer to the door, you see Bilbo sitting on the armchair by the fire.

“It seems like you’re busy, brother. I’ll come back later,” you say, starting to turn around.

“Nonsense, y/n. Come on in. It was about time that Frodo and I left anyway. It is way past his bedtime,” Bilbo states, standing. He comes over, plucking Frodo from Thorin’s shoulder. Thorin leans down to press a kiss to Bilbo’s cheeks and you have to stop yourself from squealing as Bilbo’s face turns tomato red. He smiles at you before leaving.

You can’t help but give Thorin a large grin. You were smiling so widely that it was starting to hurt. Thorin rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.”

You laugh, walking into his room.

“You finally grew a pair, little brother. I’m proud of you,” you tell him and he huffs, taking a seat in front of the fireplace.

“You shouldn’t be. It was Bilbo who initiated it,” Thorin states and you frown.

“Oh for Durin’s sake, Thorin. He’s been gone for nearly a year and you couldn’t even ask him to court you!”

“I didn’t have a love life in case you forgot! You can’t ask me to just go for it!” Thorin defends.

“I’m embarrased to call you my brother,” you reply and he rolls his eyes.

“The feeling is mutual.”

You narrow your eyes at him

“So how did Bilbo do it?”

“Well, he just walked in and kissed me,” Thorin states and you laugh heartily. The hobbit surely did change over the course of two years.

“Well good on him for having the balls that you apparently lack.”

“Did you come here just to take the mickey out of me?” Thorin huffs out.

“Of course not. The wedding is getting closer,” you start and he nods.

“Obviously. It’s in a week and its been something we’ve all been waiting for,” Thorin replies.

“Are you going to oversee it?” you ask quietly and he laughs.

“You sound like you don’t want me to,” he says.

“I don’t.

That causes Thorin to frown.

“And why not?”

“I want you to talk me down the aisle. Adad is not here and there’s not really anyone else that falls into the father figure role unless you count Balin, but I don’t want him to walk me down the aisle. I just-. I know that Kings are supposed to oversee the ceremony, but I want someone I love to walk me down the aisle and I didn’t want to-,” you say, but Thorin interrupts you by grabbing your hand.

He sends you a smile, squeezing your hand in his.

“I would love to walk you down that aisle,” he says.

“Really?” you ask.

“It would be an honor to walk you down that aisle,” is his response before you tackle him into a hug. He wraps his arm around your waist.

“Thank you, brother.”

“You’re welcome, namad.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding day jitters

You don’t typically pace, but when you do its because you’re really stressed out. You just don’t understand why. Everything up until this point had been so chill. You didn’t care that Veylil didn’t want to leave Girlin alone. You didn’t care when your musicians canceled last minute. You were so relaxed with planning everything and now you were completely and utterly stressed. Mahal! What was wrong with you?

You hear footsteps and you turn to find Obulin and Frodo running down the hall with Thorin and Bilbo right behind them. They were both dressed in their respective race’s attire. Frodo is wearing a white undershirt, royal blue vest and red coat while Obulin was wearing the same royal blue tunice and black trousers he had at Thorin’s coronation except this time, a little crown adorned his head.

Thorin himself made it, insisting that the princes needed it. So he made three of them or so he told you. You saw him sneaking a fourth and fifth crown. One for Frodo and one for Bilbo. He thought he was being sneaky. He still had a ways to go.

You bend down and the boys nearly tackle you into a hug. Luckily you made sure that one foot was behind you so you could catch yourself.

“You look pretty auntie!” Frodo exclaims.

“You look dashing as well,” you say, fixing his coat.

“What about me mama?” Girlin asks, puffing his chest out and you smile, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“You look absolutely handsome,” you say, pulling back and he smiles at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek as well.

“Come now boys, let’s leave y/n to get ready for her wedding,” Bilbo says and you smile at up at him as he starts leading the boys into the hall. If someone told you, three years ago, that your son would be lead by a hobbit into your wedding, you would’ve called them insane. You were really glad that you came on the quest after all. If you stayed in Rivendell like you originally planned, things would’ve been much different.

You stand and look at Thorin.

He looked absolutely gorgeous standing before you. He had decided to wear the same outfit he wore when he was a prince, but it was now tailored to fit his size. You were pretty sure Dis, Fili, Kili and Frerin were wearing the royal blue color as well because your wedding dress was royal blue as well except it had a green sash, a mark of Gilrin’s house colors.

“Ready?” he asks and you take a deep breath.

“I’m ready, Rin,” you say and he gives you a wide smile.

“Amad and Adad would be proud of you,” he says reaching out for your hand.

“They would be proud of all of us. The line of Durin endured and we will forever endure until the end of Middle Earth,” you say, giving his hand a squeeze.

He takes your arm in his and you both enter the main hall.

You smile happily as you make your way to the front. Every member of the company was standing there and they looked so excited. You look at your family and Dis and Frerin give you a smile while Fili and Kili give you a thumbs up. Those two were such dorks.

You turn your attention back to the front and your breath quickens as you see exactly how gorgeous Gilrin is.

He turns to look at you as you reach the front and he looks breathless. That was something you both had in common. You smile at him before turning to Balin.

“Who gives this woman to this man?”

You look up at Thorin and he’s looking down at you with tears and sheer joy in his eyes.

“I do,” thorin says without even looking up at Balin.

You smile at him and pull him into a hug after pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you Rin.”

“You’re welcome, Little Brat.”


End file.
